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Sex with nm

(14 Posts)
Elonline Sat 04-Jul-09 09:21:38

My marriage ended last year, we were together for 15 years. I have met a nm, he is everything I could possibly want, kind, caring etc. Tonight I will be staying at his for the first time, sex may/may not be on the cards (although I would like it to be). I have no body issues, ie I am comfortable with myself, but I am obviously a little worried about having sex with someone for the first time and I am just hoping that I will relax enough for it to happen.

Hope this is making sense.

mrsboogie Sat 04-Jul-09 10:50:13

Of course it makes sense, I think it is best to have a couple of drinks (not too many) then get the "first time" out of the way as it were, and its easier to just feel natural about it after that.

Hope you have a good night

SolidGoldBrass Sat 04-Jul-09 10:52:48

Tell the NM that you are feeling a bit nervous and would rather take it slowly. Remember that it's the first time for him with you as well. If he is a nice man, he will be fine. If he says something unkind or takes the piss, he's not such a nice man and at least you have found out early on.

mrsboogie Sat 04-Jul-09 11:15:52

yes I meant to say he will be feeling nervous too!

Elonline Sat 04-Jul-09 12:28:41

Thank you for the replies. He is a nice man, is and has been very understanding. Had totally forgotten that he may be nervous as well, think a few drinks will be in order.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sat 04-Jul-09 12:53:59

But not too many and don't forget the condoms.

laurasmiles Sat 04-Jul-09 13:06:37

I was in this situation after splitting with my husband of 12 years.
To be honest, once we were relaxed and I'd decided in my head that I was ready for it - it was suprisingly easy and very enjoyable!!

It does take a while getting used to a different man - but as the other posters say - the same applies for your nm, as you. So make the most of it and have fun!!

L.

Elonline Sat 04-Jul-09 13:25:02

Thank you ladies, feel a bit more relaxed now. Agree on not having too many, but just enough to lose those inhibitions. Contraception all sorted, really looking forward to this evening regardless of the sex.

Elonline Sun 05-Jul-09 15:31:15

oh ladies, I am back to update....I had the most wonderful evening with nm, he was funny, attentive and he seems to be perfect for me. Then it got late and we ended up in bed, all was not well though. It seems due to something in his past he has trouble getting an erection. We did loads of kissing and touching etc but zilch. Never had this happen before and I don't know what to do.

cheekysealion Sun 05-Jul-09 17:12:23

what a shame...

i would just take your time and see what happens... he may need to be bit more relaxed around you... i suppose we all tend to think men have no worries around sex and can just do it..but it doesnt always happen like that

Could there be a medical reason for this?

Elonline Sun 05-Jul-09 18:14:46

Not sure about a medical problem, think it could be more to do with ex wife undermined him. Guess time and patience will tell.

FabBakerGirlIsBack Sun 05-Jul-09 19:50:51

It is early days.

Don't worry and just take it steady.

SolidGoldBrass Mon 06-Jul-09 17:13:22

DOn't worry about it yet. You were in a state of super-high anticipation about the First Shag, he was probably the same, hence the willy-wilt. See how things go over the next few dates, it may be fine next time or the time after. And, as long as he has fingers and a tongue he can give you a good time (hopefully) anyway.

Elonline Mon 06-Jul-09 17:27:44

lol SBG. Started a new thread about this further down.

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