Dilemma

[ozirish]

Posted a week ago about a disinterested H. Well I challenged him last night and said a few home truths and basically said I'm not putting up with the status quo and I wanted him to move out.

His response was to storm out of the house and go to the pub. Rang him at 1am and he said he'd be home in 30mins. Me tossing and turning and fuming and regretting all the things I said then changing my mind until he gets home.

So he comes home at 6am and I can smell a strange smell on his clothes. I feel ill. I really feel I have done it now as in ended it.

So many things wrong with the relationship, he's a muso and a very selfish scorpio so sees nothing wrong in locking himself in studio while I deal with 2yr dd after working 4 days per week, doing all chores etc etc .

So as I said 6am he comes in. I ask where he's been & who with and I get "Shut the Fuck up" - he's drunk. So I get out of bed straight away and get ready for work and get daughter up. He's meant to look after her on Fridays 'daddy day', but today I didn't even want to talk to him so just organised extra nursery day.

Sorry this is long, but I'm in OZ and it's now nearly 11am and still haven't heard a beep from him. I've sent him texts to explain why I said what I did, i.e. he's not a proper husband, never around doesnt do family stuff. So is it over? I know I should feel relief but I really did love him once.

[ozirish]

I meant a strange smell as in perfume. He had an affair nearly two years ago and I'm still not over it. If he's done something again it will kill me.

[Tortington]

you keep chasing him with texts - you need to sort out your shit. money, house, everything = in the meantime - if he even shows a little bit of regret - you could go to counselling -if you really can't let go.

however labling someone as a muso - doesn't actually give them the right to be a parody /stereotype of the term. this in noway excuses his selfishness.

don't be a groupie - be a god - he kisses your feet from now on - or don't have him around.

leave him to stew in his own vomit. don't talk to him, dont clean up after him don't wash for him - don't mind the kid whilst he is pissed - don't pay his fucking bills

sort them out for a start - "oh muso - artist - here's your half of the living expenses you self obsessed cunt.

[LoveBeingAMummy]

hows the rest of the day gone?

[mrsboogie]

custardo has it spot on there OP

[TwoHot]

Ahh poor you. Sounds very much like he has done it again tho doesnt it? Thats the point to go from I think.

Also agree with Custardo. Star sign/hobbies/etc are no excuse.

[LoveMyGirls]

I think you have done the right thing in telling him it's over tbh.

[ToughDaddy]

I with custardo too

[ozirish]

Sorry that my generalisation of H as muso irked some. I am a bitch of a person sometimes and very judgemental.

Thing is I had a long chat to a good friend who told me some home truths. I fell in love with him b/c of his belief in himself his passion in music etc. I cannot begrudge him that now b/c I have some certain belief a married man with a child must 'behave' in a certain way. I either accept him and love him the way he is and really understand that he won't change.

It's my screwed up perception of life and inner conflicts which cause me to believe the worst in him. It's other peoples judgements who upset me but I really have to not care what other people think.

The 6am coming home was explained and the strange smell was my overactive imagination. He knows if he stuffs up again i.e. affair he is out.

I sound weak but I'm not a very nice person to live with sometimes and I can give him a very hard time. Hence why it's been four days now of bliss. A bit of realisation of yourself and my whole outlook on life has changed.

[AnyFucker]

oh my god, Stepford Wives really do exist

[MorrisZapp]

You imagined you could smell perfume at 6am in the morning?

Help ma boab.

[Lulumama]

he has done a number on you then, hasn't he??

it is your imagination

he is a muso so he should not have to conform to what is normal and right

you married him, so you have to put up with all his crap now

pathetic.

him, not you BTW

[MadameDefarge]

have you any idea of how ludicrous you sound?

Don't think much of this "good friend" who tells you you are unreasonable to expect both yours and his life to change with children.

Actually, just go and enjoy your days of bliss. Can't see them lasting very long.