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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

very personal

37 replies

veryembarrassed · 16/05/2005 16:09

hello. i have changed my name for this, or i could never post here again! i have a v. v. real worry about orgasms. i would rather shove hot needles in my eyes than aks anyone in rl for advice on this!
ok, here goes. Not sure if i have or havent. have experienced
mexican wave type sensation, starting at 'love button' and extending, but remaining in bits area only. is this an 'O'
nice, but i always want to carry on, if we do, then i start to feel tense, then feel sudden release of tension and relax, no mexican wave. doesnt even feel nice really but not to do it leaves be feeling unsatisfied. So is THIS an 'O'?
but then, once, had most strange feeling like something HUGE going to happen, pressure and tension and felt nice sort of, but then just went away and nothing at all - felt cheated somehow, So was THAT an 'o', in which case, ive never had one,
so when dh ask 'did you' and i say erm ???????
which of these is and what are others?
i know you going to be giggling and i must seem stupid, but affects relationship when seen to be unsatisfied or noncommittal re sex life. dh thinks i dont like or he no good. i only ever been with him. i feel stupid.

OP posts:

Report

Hermione1 · 16/05/2005 16:11

Try to relax you'd know if you had one.try not to worry about it. sorry not much help really.

starlover · 16/05/2005 16:11

it certainly sounds like one... or at least, the start of one!
When you get it carry on and it should get een better!
the feeling like something HUGE is going to happen usually means it is!

Hermione1 · 16/05/2005 16:12

i agree with starlover.

Hermione1 · 16/05/2005 16:12

can you not experimenet on your own and see if it happens??

starlover · 16/05/2005 16:13

btw.. don't feel stupid! And I agree with hermione... practice on yourself and make it happen, you know better than anyone what makes you feel good...

Bella23 · 16/05/2005 16:15

I agree with Hermione that the only way to know for sure is to have a play with yourself and see what happens.
Lock youself in the bathroom, with a glass of wine and nice hot bath and a little imagination

flum · 16/05/2005 16:17

they are not as strong on your own though. IMO

Hermione1 · 16/05/2005 16:18

Honestly because i'll embarrase myself now and admit that i never used to, anbd thought, 'oh i couldb;t do that' but did one day and wish i done it sooner. lol. nothing to be ashamed of.

Fio2 · 16/05/2005 16:20

I just dont get anything out of masterbation

I find when i am on top I come easier

dont know why i am sharing this

flum · 16/05/2005 16:22

me neither really - except when i was heavily pregnant. like Fio not sure why am telling that. the urge to share on MN is too strong

Hermione1 · 16/05/2005 16:23

how i know that flum, perhaps i shouldn't have shared that last comment,

veryembarrassed · 16/05/2005 16:26

thanks. feel so , but probs with sex can really ruin your relationship, you know. i know im no experience but dh not help by comparing me to girlfriends before met and married me who 'always came', says things like do i think he not good, paranoia from him about performance but turns it to ive got a problem no one else he slept with had, you know? about dong it on my own i far too what if someone heard me? it is sensible advice though, i know

OP posts:

flum · 16/05/2005 16:28

ok, ermmm, get a vibrator. then you will know what an O is, once an for all. I guarantee it. right thats it I'm off.

...and you're life will be richer for it

Hermione1 · 16/05/2005 16:36

agree with flum, those rabbit ones are brill, oops did i say that???

kama · 16/05/2005 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jumpingjackflash · 16/05/2005 17:14

owww I like these threads where you can be honest! I def. agree with whoever said about a vibrator. Anne Summers places etc, def. not daunting anymore and you can get them from internet ... brown paper bag?! Oh goodness I sound like a pro!

As has been said before, don't get hung up on have you or haven't you! If you enjoy it that is the main thing isn't it?

natts · 16/05/2005 17:22

don't want to sound like a sexpert or nympho because nothing could be further from the truth dh and i are once a weekers on a good week since the kid's.
i used to feel the same thing with the build up and tension and then it would die off and i would think ??????????was it worth it. but then i discovered an "O" from inside, not the clitorus quite by mistake.
I was on top facing the wrong way.(not a pretty site i'm sure)this was huge and I couldn't believe it could be happening to me after so many years of "oh right that was it". another tip "Oh no I am letting it all out of the bag now"is to talk to H, often they tend to go straight to the "C" and that can often feel so intense that it can become like an electric shock rather than pleasurable. get him to touch you around it"gently and slowly" and that will allow your arousal to build up gradually, which will make for a better "O".
It sounds like you have experienced an "o" to a degree but the intensity of it needs a little help.
Imagination is vital. go and buy yourself a book or two my Nancy friday. she expains all and the books themselves are all about womens fanasies writen by ordinary women.
perhaps I should have gone under a different name. oh well nevermind. good luck

Lonelymum · 16/05/2005 17:23

I read once that an orgasm is like a sneeze in that you have a build up when you know something is going to happen, and then you sneeze (reach a climax) and there is a definite sense of a conclusion being reached. Does that make sense?

Lonelymum · 16/05/2005 17:25

Natts, I have a book by Nancy Friday - it lives in my bedside table drawer and is very well thumbed! One or two pages in particular! What is in the water here? I seem to be admitting things I wouldn't normally too!

natts · 16/05/2005 17:28

hey LM, my Nf book fell open in the most embarrasing chapters. don't have them anymore. never alone. boo hoo. sneeze thing sounds like a great way of explaining an "O"

Fio2 · 16/05/2005 17:33

oh no it is not s neeze, how disappointing

natts · 16/05/2005 17:35

not the intensity of a sneeze just a good comparrison how they build up [sort of].

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SleepyJess · 16/05/2005 17:45

Anybody ever have one of those tantric style O's?? Can't remember what their called.. but they are not all centred about the 'bits'!

(Sorry to go off on a tangent there Very Embarassed.. and don't be! There is nothing funny about your question! Very good question.. and very helpful responses..)

SJ x

SleepyJess · 16/05/2005 17:47

Think they're called Energy Orgasms actually.. I used to get emails from Tantra.com (very informative they were too!).. but I think my spam filter now eats them!!!!

Anyone?

natts · 16/05/2005 17:49

not a clue,but internal ones a HUGE and defo not in one area

Flip

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