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Please help. How do you move on? I feel like my life has ended.

(9 Posts)
BrokkenHarted Wed 01-Jul-09 14:53:53

I don't know how to move on. My marriage has just ended and I have decided that is it, no more, I must put him behind me.

Thing is, I don't know what to do now. How am I supposed to move on? What am I supposed to do with myself? I am a young mother and really had built my life around my husband and son. I have few real friends and feel completely on my own.

Any advice or support would be really appreciated.

Curiousmama Wed 01-Jul-09 15:02:29

Sorry to hear this. You have few real friends so does that mean you do have some? I found when I split with exdh they were my rock. My mother who I love dearly was a pain in the arse, I ended up on meltdown with her.

When did you split? Are you still in the same house?

BrokkenHarted Wed 01-Jul-09 15:11:24

I have one good friend but i barely ever get to see her. She leads a hectic life. My parents always want to slate him but don't seem to realise that that is not helpful either.

I love him just as much as i am angry at him and wish things could change and we could be together but i know that things wont change and sooner or later it will all end in tears yet again.

He has moved out to live with his dad and roam between friends, but i see him every day when i look at his son who is just like his daddy and wonder if i can ever pick myself back up. I dropped everything when i met him.

Curiousmama Wed 01-Jul-09 15:37:56

You will feel very fragile at the moment. Be good to yourself and give yourself time. It will get better. Those things you've dropped, can any be picked back up? If not do something different, a course, anything to try to take your mind off this if only for a short while.

BrokkenHarted Wed 01-Jul-09 15:49:04

I just want the 'but i miss him so much' feeling to go away.

I don't think i know who i am anymore. All i want is for him to come home and give me a cuddle but i wont allow it. We will never work out as much as i would like it. He is so far away, what am i supposed to do about contact for him and my son because he is a great dad and loves our DS so much but neither of us have a great deal of money? I don't want to let my son down.

Curiousmama Wed 01-Jul-09 16:09:31

It's up to him to worry about his contact with your son. You just worry about you and your son for now, take one day at a time. That feeling doesn't go away overnight but if you try to live your life and fill it with other stuff it'll subside.

BrokkenHarted Wed 01-Jul-09 17:09:14

I was just starting to think maybe things will get better, maybe we can make this work. After speaking to him on the phone he has just proved himself to be incapable of that.

Besides chocolate i am not sure what to fill my life with. A course is something i could not cope with as yet.

Any suggestions?

cheerfulvicky Wed 01-Jul-09 17:48:09

Mum and baby screenings might be a great distraction, and why not have a look at your Mumsnet Local section and see what is on offer, if anything.
Penpals/keeping a diary might also help. Are you close to your family? If you could get them to stop slating him, would they offer a listening ear and lots of support?

I know how you feel because I left my DP earlier this year. I missed him so much I ended up going back - I literally had nothing, I also dropped everything when I met him and my whole life was built around him.
I'm with him again atm and things are loads better, but I'm now focusing on building up a life for myself that doesn't rely on him being around, just in case things go tits up again.
You are welcome to email/PM me if you need someone to talk to. You're doing really well so remember to congratulate yourself at how strong and amazing you are being.
Take care.
x

BrokkenHarted Wed 01-Jul-09 23:19:00

Thankyou CV.

I want him back because God knows i love him so much but i also hate him.

My heart has broken into a thousand pieces and now those pieces are breaking into a thousand pieces

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