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hubby;s who work away all week - found phone video of stripper.

(3 Posts)
sd33 Wed 01-Jul-09 00:30:04

Just some advice really, am i over reacting.

my dh works away mainly mon-fri, at present in london. weekend had row so while he was outside i checked his mob. where i found video of a stripper on one of his mates. text from adult facebook and them text from ' call suzy now for ....' messages. we have been down this road with the text before. but he is obviously not getting it. i was so angry i ripped two of our wedding photos out of the frames and to shreds. he cant see whats wrong. i have trusted him and have only checked phone twice in at least last 3 years since working away. so i believe there is a lot more i dont know about. but since this has kicked off i feel sick, the thought of him watching strippers ( when hes meant to be away working) i am the one who sits at home with dd and 8 months preg. i feel i dont trust him but he brushes it off like i am making a big issue and it makes me think ( am i? ) i am now unsure whether to believe if he has cheated or not he says he hasn't - well his actual saying is ' he wouldn't want it done to him so he wouldn't do it' i now feel this statement is a load of crap and his way of saying - that i , myself, wont cheat for that reason. he comes home fri night tired, moody and wonders why i get in a mood with him. i am so angry. he will never admit cheating and his mates would cover for him, they r all single. sex life ok but hes away all week. sometimes i feel like he looks at me but thinks its not me. sex life will be none existent now as i dont want him near me. should i just forget it - its sad how one day everything seems perfect and next, not!!

Tortington Wed 01-Jul-09 00:36:44

so you think he is fucking other girls - haven't got the proof - so kick off at a text he is sent by someone else?

A video of a stripper dancing with one of his mates doesn't mean he took it for pervy reasons, and it's doubtful he has cheated on you with her. He probably video'd it to take the piss out of his mate with.

I'm not sure what adult facebook is, never heard of it, but surely generic messages from a sex phoneline worker can't be classed as cheating? they send loads of those out on the offchance men will call them back.

You need his support right now, getting stressed isn't good for you or the baby. Even if he's fully innocent he sounds thoughtless and I wouldn't be happy at finding those things on my dp's phone either. But even if he perved on the stripper, rang the phonesex line etc, that isn't actual physical cheating, so maybe you can get past this? I think you need to talk this over with him, and gauge his reactions.

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