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Pregnant, Depressed and my marriage is over :-( LONG

(2 Posts)
satherecrying Tue 30-Jun-09 01:09:47

sad

I've suffered with depression on & off for a number of years now. Am currently pregnant and struggling to avoid AND. The doctor has said that AD's wouldn't benefit me at the moment cos the ones I could take will make me sleepy and I'm already too tired anyway.

I just can't keep fighting the depression and fighting for my marriage sad. I don't know whether the problems I have with dh are real or if they're part of the depression or just me generally being crap and over-sensitive but tbh I don't care anymore, I just want to not have to deal with them.

Because of pregnancy problems I'm virtually housebound when dh isn't there and I struggle to do lots of normal day to day tasks but I don't think dh 'gets' it. Yeah sure he's great at doing stuff if I stand there and say "Do x for me please" but it's the thoughtlessness of stuff that I can't deal with anymore. He knows I have spd and struggle to lift stuff, etc yet he still dumps heavy bags in front of the sink (meaning I then can't get a drink of water cos I can't move them and can't reach with them there). I'm sick of explaining these sort of things to him.

He got that singstar game for the playstation the other day. He knows I'm not confident and can't sing but I still joined in last night only for him to make fun of me later on, so I didn't want to play anymore. I'm sick of trying to be positive for it to be ruined by one comment.

I feel like everything he does is forced. I feel like I've had to beg or nag or cry for him to notice that I need certain things then a day later I'm having to do it all over again.

I told him I didn't want him anymore after another argument this morning (one we've had about 10 times this week). I told him I've had enough, no more chances for him to change, no working things out. He said he'd sleep in the car tonight. Dd was upset that her daddy didn't come back in sad. I eventually got her to sleep and when I looked out the window the car was gone. I rang his mobile (no answer) left a message for him to go on msn (it's free for him on his phone). He came on later and asked if I was ok. I told him I was crying, have had no food, wasn't gonna sleep at all and that dd was upset. He never even asked if she was ok now or if she was in bed. When I pulled him up on that he just kept saying that he loves us hmm. He asked if she was still upset, but his battery has now died and I have no way of contacting him now and he hasn't bothered coming back to check. I guess that says it all sad. Why doesn't he care? Why doesn't he fucking care enough to check on his kids? sad

WantToBeDifferent Tue 30-Jun-09 07:46:59

i don't have any real advice, just didn't want you to go without a reply - i'm sure people will be along with real advice for you soon.

It sounds like things are really hard for all of you at the moment. I know how hard it can be to be exhausted and pregnant. I also know how hard it is living with someone with depression. I'm not saying your DH is in the right by any means, but when someone has depression and you care about them, sometimes you can't do anything right, and it's a huge emotional drain.

Do you think he'd go to counselling with you? It might help with your depression, and if you both get a chance to say how you feel in a 'safe' environment?

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