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Fed up with feeling trapped

(5 Posts)
lilac21 Sun 28-Jun-09 22:47:35

Brief history - told my H that our marriage is over in January, after months of arguments and denial he seemed to accept it. He has told me to move out, refused to give me any settlement or to leave himself, and says 'you're not taking my children away'. They are nearly 10 and 12.

I thought I could wait it out, save some money and buy a keyworker flat in a few months, but the development I want won't be ready til the spring (it has been delayed) and there's nothing else locally. Renting privately around here will mean I can't save any money at all.

It's our anniversary tomorrow, he is going away on business v early in the morning. He told me that under the circumstances, he hasn't got me anything (?!) This turned into a conversation in which he repeatedly denied that I had ever made an offer to accept less than 50% of the house (he used his inheritance to repay the mortgage) and then when I walked away, said 'Oh, don't you want a friendly chat?' I said 'I'm not your friend', since I certainly don't act like one, this situation is driving me mad. He replied 'Oh, you get to decide that, do you?'

It's so surreal it's almost laughable - but instead I am stressed and crying and feeling helpless again. I thought I could cope when I only had a few months of this left but right now I'm looking at eight or nine months and I'm not sure I can. I'm so glad he is away tomorrow til Thursday and I feel bad for hoping his will be the next plane that falls out of the sky. I wouldn't miss him, but the girls would.

Salme101 Sun 28-Jun-09 23:19:32

sad for you. I've no experience in this area, but have you sought legal advice?

GypsyMoth Sun 28-Jun-09 23:21:48

If you're truly unhappy, then just go.....Money shouldn't even come into it. You'd be happier in rented surely!

flaminhell Sun 28-Jun-09 23:41:47

Its not up to him what you do or dont get, its not up to him who stays in he house, you can either try mediation to resolve it or get divorced and let the courts decide, whilst solicitors take their cut! Dont back down, its a shame really he is just stalling it seems so you can not leave.

Make plans, dates mentally prepare yourself, its not impossible but it is hard, first foot forward is always the hardest.

cjr109 Sun 12-Jul-09 22:52:00

Hi there Lilac21, i know how you feel as 6years ago i was there... arguments, he was always out... golf, darts, band practise and male holidays to Vegas! In fact because he went Vegas with the lads in February he had no money for my 40th in March! I was not impressed...

Its not been easy... still not there 100% have been downs and ups ! BUT my daughter got me through it all and your children will be your incentive to tackle what ever life throws at you...

Good Luck and best wishes... whenever you feel down think of your children, they will love you more then anything.... smile

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