After twice my H saying that he wanted to give our marriage a go; he has again backed down and said that he still does'nt love me...2 weeks ago he said he still fancied me as much as the first day he saw me!!! I am so fed up with all of this but I can't seem to let go as I still feel I love him.How can I make him want me back. I sound so crap and desperate; he has reduced me to this.
I have tried to be confident, look good etc etc but nothing seems to work. I know I have to get on with my life but here I am...sat on my own all Sunday (my daughter is at a friends)and feel like my life is over. I cried in pizza hut on Friday as I took my d there for a treat and then ruined it by blubbing. I feel so lonely I could cry constantly.
I sent him a text this morning to say that I hoped he felt proud of himself for what he had done and that he was getting to be quite good at f**king up people.I never got a reply...We had to spend the day together yesterday as my son had a families day (he has joined the army 4 weeks ago- only just 17)..he talks normally to me and even calls me babe!! What the f**k. Sorry for the swearing. I wish I could take all my feelings and dump them somewhere so I don't have to feel them anymore...help please xx
once you realise you dont NEED him and actually can cope on your own you will start to feel better. It is hard but give yourself small targets to make yourself feel better - the less you need him the better you will feel and if he is going to come back he will when you feel you are over him. iyswim.
One of the reasons you feel so shite is that he is constantly dangling the carrot of hope that all will be well, then snatching that away from you. IMHO you need to distance yourself from him and tell yourself that this is it, you are on your own, and it is time to do everything for yourself and move on.
Obviously, easily written, not so easily done! But just do tiny things to cheer yourself up - perhaps something he didn't like doing with you, or that you didn't have time for before... Visit friends, have a tiny holiday (youth hostels are cheap and you can get good deals on national express if you have very little money!). Sign up for internet dating and have a few online chats... Just get out of your day to day and stop hoping he will walk back in any second - give yourself a break from his mental torture for a bit. it is very unfair of him to keep chopping and changing.
You have honestly got to start behaving as though the relatinship is over. Tell yourself that if he wants you back he's going to have to work for it - why should you just roll over with your legs in the air when he has hurt you and is continuing to hurt you by fannying about with his head up his arse? Tell him you want a break, that you don't want to hear from him apart from stuff to do with the DC, that you have your own life.