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So frustrated re our sexlife - TMI

(8 Posts)
Nahui Thu 25-Jun-09 09:32:02

Message withdrawn

mrsmerryweather Thu 25-Jun-09 09:37:26

Selfish sod.

He is being totally unreasonable. If he can't take on board your health issues and your tiredness then he shouldn't be in a relationship.

Do you really want to be with him?

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern Thu 25-Jun-09 09:43:05

My ex was a bit like this and it used to make me feel really angry and disrespected sad
It also had the opposite of the desired effect for him as it made me pull away even more sexually.
At a time when I needed a bit of TLC some cuddles and a bit of love and affection I felt like I was only needed for one thing and actully shut me off a bit sexually.
I never actually found a way of getting through to my ex unfortunately. Things did improve as dd got older and I was less tired and he had given up the daily grope a long time before so I felt less like a piece of meat.

That is not the reason we split but it was one of the straws on the camels back so to speak. I never felt the same about him in that respect again. Yes sex is an important part of a reltionship but you have a tiny baby and pregnancy/birth related problems he needs to stop being so selfish and show a bit of respect. And the thing is a bit of love and cuddles are more likely to make you feel in the mood than a daily grope and a huff when he doesn't get anywhere.

ineedalifelaundry Thu 25-Jun-09 11:41:39

He has some strange ideas about vasectomies!

He is being very selfish, especially when you have been so generous with your attention to his needs during a physically demanding time.

Have you told him that cuddles and affection without any expectations are what you need right now and that this approach is the best route back on track with your sex life anyway?

AnyFucker Thu 25-Jun-09 18:02:00

err, a vasectomy has no effect on a blokes sex drive

does he know that?

this issue is about respect, not "getting your bollox chopped off" hmm

he sounds very childish

FabBakerGirlIsBack Thu 25-Jun-09 18:06:21

He is definitely having a tantrum by saying he will have the op so his sex life will deminish. As if that is what he wants.

Tell him the more he gropes you and goes on about it, the less you want him.

Doesn't sound like you want to give him BJs, so don't.

screamingabdab Thu 25-Jun-09 18:21:31

What FabBakerGirl said

MrConsiderate Mon 29-Jun-09 14:36:42

He's clearly very frustrated by the situation - and believe me, it is very difficult for a man to accept sexual rejection, whether or not there is a perfectly reasonable medical reason for you not wanting to.

These feelings can very quickly turn into bitterness, so if I were you I would not follow the advice of the previous posters, as this will undoubtedly lead you down a path to more troubles later on. I'm not saying just lie back and take one for the team - but you have to understand that his sexual needs are important. Perhaps there is a middle ground to be found somewhere..?

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