Just a thankyou to whoever recommended that Lundy Bancroft book about abuse!!

[Ryn]

It has made everything make more sense. It is my exp to a tee. I can now stop looking for reasons as to his behaviour as I have an explanation of sorts.... he is an abuser, pure and simple, both physically and emotionally!

AND, all of the threats and actions I have been through are right there in the book, including fighting for custody!

I recommend it to everyone that is or thinks they are suffering abuse and want to make some sense of it!

Thanks AGAIN!!!! 18 months after seperation, I feel like things are clearer and can stop blaming myself and making excuses for his behaviour!

'Why does he do that? Lundy Bancroft'...... bought it on Amazon!

[junglist1]

I read mine cover to cover! My P is an entitled type (as well as a right twat obviously).

[missylea]

Hi ive just bought the book of amazon. Just hope it works for me like it did you's ladies thanks

[sunfleurs]

It is unbelievable that book. It saved my sanity, truly. I don't know why but it also helped me greatly that it was written by a Man. There is at least one of them who "gets it".

Junglist your ex sounds remarkably similar to mine, I feel utter horror that their may be two such similar, monstrous "men" out there.

[junglist1]

I went all soft on ol Lundy, I didn't realise a man could be so nice. And normal.

[Digitalis]

There's more than just two Sunfleurs, I had an abusive partner too. If it wasn't for Lundy's book I might well still be there with him.

Just wish abusive behaviour wasn't such a well kept secret!

[junglist1]

It's so, so common. I have 20 odd female friends and 10 of us are either emotionally or physically battered, one has been beaten with a stick, one has had her rib broken.

[Katisha]

Yes that book helped someone I know get out of a long-standing verbally and emotionally abusive realtionship, and to see it for what it was. Also that other book by Patricia someone about verbal abusive.

[mumonthenet]

It is a great book about the kind of abuse which shows no bruises or broken bones.

As digitalis says, this kind of abuse is such a well kept secret....and it shouldn't be.

[sunfleurs]

The very worst thing about it is that you don't even know yourself for so long. It can be so sneakily and cleverly done for example the never, ever complimenting you on anything thing that a lot of them do. You see them complimenting others so you really do little by little think it must be you. You try harder and harder to make them like you or think you are a decent person and lose more and more confidence and before you know where you are you are a nervous wreck. That was really how exh started out I would say and just got worse and worse.

I know there are loads like him, have read you other posts Junglist and they just sound so similar.

[cestlavielife]

yes the book was a revelation for me too.