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Am I being paranoid?

(7 Posts)
Twilko Tue 23-Jun-09 22:17:42

This is going to sound very trivial to all of you but im just interested to see if anyone would think the same or if im just being paraniod... It involves the MIL, Ive posted on here before about snidey comments etc, anyway she came shopping with me a couple of weeks ago to help me chose a dress that I was going to wear to her daughters wedding, the one we picked had a plunging V neckline, now, I have a terrible cleavage ( two vertical lines - could park your bike there type of cleavage) so i said to her id have to pin the dress accross blah blah.) The day of the wedding i did just this and pinned it across, probably looked a bit odd, but I thought F* it, it's better than my boobs hanging out.
So tonight, DF and I went to his cousins 18th party, for the last hour of the party my DF's aunty ( who is like best mates with my MIL) pinned a badge to her blouse, right in the middle of her shirt therfore pinning the whole top across her cleavage. I didnt think anything of it until DF and I were leaving and MIL pipes up "Sylvia (namechanging), why have you put your badge there?!" Aunty replies.. " Just covering my cleavage lol". Now I know you're probably all thinking this is pointless, but just to put my mind at rest - do you think they were taking the piss out of me? Would you think the same? Im asking because my MIL is full of 'clever' comments towards me when she has the family about and tbh I am absolutely sick of it, this I think would be the final nail in the coffin IYKWIM. DF says im being paraniod ( he always says this to keep the peace). What do you think? If her top was so revealing, why didnt she pop upstairs and change it - it was her house!

xxxx

blinder Wed 24-Jun-09 00:32:04

I really doubt that it was directed at you - and tbh, unless something is very clearly expressed as an insult, there's no point worrying about it.

TwoSunnyDays Wed 24-Jun-09 09:59:54

Maybe, hard to tell when they are indirect like that. When people dont have the wherewithall to insult you to your face its not worth worrying about.

It may be they are a little insecure about a new (potentially alpha) female in the pack and are bonding by making digs at you. They may not think you would get it. I suspect MIL feels her control slipping away and wants to cling on to her top dog status just a while longer Every time they take a dig at you its because they feel that little bit more insecure.

Maybe you could wear a broach every time you see them, with a big grin (to show you dont care what they think). If it wasnt an insult they wouldnt notice, if it was they will and they will also know you dont give a stuff!

Its a little confrontational, dont let my battle for alpha mum status in my own home lead you astray!

TwoSunnyDays Wed 24-Jun-09 10:00:54

brooch

MamaLazarou Wed 24-Jun-09 10:06:20

I agree with TwoSunnyDays. In your situation, I personally would shrug this off as a silly remark and wouldn't bother too much about whether or not it was directed specifically at me. It's just not worth investing in emotionally. Your MIL sounds as though she is threatened by you and is delighted to have found a 'weak spot'. It's silly playground behaviour, and it would be best to rise above it and try to move on.

HolyGuacamole Wed 24-Jun-09 12:20:37

Yep, agree with everyone. Ignore and rise above it. If you ignore it, it will either stop......or it will get worse, in which case she will likely do something a lot more obvious and noticeable and your DH won't blame you for being paranoid. Give her an inch etc....

Hopefully it will stop though, if she realises she is not getting to you, she might see that you're not a threat and you might be able to build a nice, mutually respecting relationship?

<fingers crossed>

Twilko Wed 24-Jun-09 13:48:24

Thank you all for your replies, im feeling so much better today. Im just too soft and quiet and let everything get to me. I do believe she feels threatened by me because before I came along her and my DF were attached at the hip and I also know she loves to believe she's the matriarch of the family. It just guts me when she gangs up on me in public as im far too shy to react and she knows this, I therefore beat myself up for not reacting for ages afterwards. Anyhow, thanks to this forum I also know im not alone when it comes to snidey MIL's! I WILL ignore it from now on!

Thanks again everyone xxxx

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