Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Strange behaviour from friend - what do you make of this?

(35 Posts)
ino Sat 20-Jun-09 23:14:05

I have a male friend who I have known for some time. He doesn't live near me but we talk a lot on the phone, have a lot in common and seem to 'click'. Recently I met up with him again and he made me feel really uncomfortable. I felt that he was trying to make a move on me and weirdly, he tried to steal my bracelet (not worth anything but I didn't want him to have it)

I ended up feeling confused by the whole thing and like he was up to something slightly sinister. Should this be the end of the friendship?

hobbgoblin Sat 20-Jun-09 23:15:49

Er, yes! Too odd.

Unless you have a serious friend deficit I am surprised you are giving this more than a moment's thought.

ino Sat 20-Jun-09 23:24:28

Thanks hobbgoblin. I think I'm unsure because he knows me very well and understands a lot of my problems, but it was very odd.

BitOfFun Sat 20-Jun-09 23:24:28

We need more details I think!

Heated Sat 20-Jun-09 23:30:53

A bit of a trophy hunter? Don't let him near your knicker drawer.

ino Sat 20-Jun-09 23:38:41

What's a trophy hunter?

thesockmonsterofdoom Sun 21-Jun-09 07:47:48

I think the making a move thng you can probably forgive as long as he took no for an answer straight away, the braclet thing is just too weird though.

Jumente Sun 21-Jun-09 07:56:20

If it made you uncomfortable listen to your instinct, it might not be immediately obvious why but it won't beep without reason iyswim.

He sounds really creepy.

ToughDaddy Sun 21-Jun-09 08:06:23

If you are going to keep him as a friend then you will have to ensure that you are not vulnerable when/if you meet again. You could even consider confronting him on his weird behaviour. Making a move on you is one thing but nicking your bracelet is another.

Heated Sun 21-Jun-09 08:27:45

A trophy hunter is someone who collects mementoes of their conquests. He sound most odd and, unless he was on an unusually strong medication, to be avoided.

blinder Sun 21-Jun-09 10:04:05

I would trust your gut instinct on the 'slightly sinister' feeling. He may have been manipulating you by 'understanding alot of your problems'. Seems a bit 'stalky' to me, sorry sad.

ino Sun 21-Jun-09 12:29:19

Thanks for replies. He has not behaved that way before so I couldn't understand it but the bracelet thing freaked me out. He put it on and rolled it up under his sleeve and only gave it back because I absolutely insisted.

ToughDaddy Sun 21-Jun-09 12:58:19

Is he shy or something? Sounds like it is his (ill-advised) way of trying to tell you something

ino Sun 21-Jun-09 13:12:44

No, he's not shy. Perhaps I need to be more careful who I make friends with.

dittany Sun 21-Jun-09 13:39:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ino Sun 21-Jun-09 17:07:54

dittany - I think you are right - that he was trying to see how much he could get away with. I was so unsettled by the whole thing I had nightmares about it.

Jumente Sun 21-Jun-09 17:27:27

In that case it is probably wise to cut all contact - do not give him an inroad into your life again. He can look after himself.

Sorry you have had to go through this. Sometimes people just seem to change, it isn't your problem except to look after yourself and make sure you are safe - psychologically as well as physically. You don't have to be his friend or even talk to him again if you don't want to.

MaggieBeau Sun 21-Jun-09 17:31:23

Yes, trust your gut instinct. On the face of it, taking your bracelet could be so that he could wear something of yours, but he could have flattered you into parting with something. He creeeped you out. listen to that!

ino Sun 21-Jun-09 17:40:13

Well it is the last thing I need at the moment tbh. Thanks for replies xx

MaggieBeau Sun 21-Jun-09 17:56:09

I think Dittany is right there about the pushing boundaries issue. He was doing a little spot check on how much the boss he could be of you in a relationship. He probably wasn't even fully aware of that himself.

ToughDaddy Sun 21-Jun-09 19:16:05

Dittany is right i think. If u think u might ever have to deal with him again and called, it might be worth confronting him on the phone about his behaviour. But main thing is not to be in vulnerable situation with this guy.

coppertop Sun 21-Jun-09 19:26:00

I knew a girl years ago who used to do this. Her reasoning behind it all was that if you took something belonging to the person you fancied then they would have to contact you again - even if only to get it back. She used to 'borrow' jackets, CDs, and basically anything else she could get. If the person didn't contact her again then she saw the stuff as a consolation prize. hmm

HecatesTwopenceworth Sun 21-Jun-09 19:39:47

re the bracelet - could it be that he was trying to take it so he'd have an excuse to come round to your house, say late in the night? "Oh, I realised I have your bracelet..."

Or would he normally go back to yours anyway? Just wondering if he'd need an excuse to come to your house, perhaps to try to make something happen between you?

nickschick Sun 21-Jun-09 19:42:34

Dittany you are so wise.

MaggieBeau Sun 21-Jun-09 21:05:52

I think a woman might use that tactic (taking something of the man's so they'd have to meet up again), but surely if a man is interested he'll just call. Sexist?? But if a man wants to contact a woman again he does.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now