More problems, time to give up?

[lilacclaire]

Totally disheartened again, seem to sort out one problem then another one arrives.

I know these things may seem trivial to other problems here, but would appreciate some input (again).

Yesterday me, dp, dss + friend, dp's brother and girlfriend on way back from overnight stay at concert. We all had a great time etc, I had to be back for a certain time to pick up ds from a nursery trip which meant us leaving earlier than we normally would have. Everyone knew this previously and I had offered to come back down myself and let everyone else enjoy the rest of their day, but they all said they would travel back down with me.
DP had previously questioned why I didn't get the childminder to pick up ds, but as it was his first ever trip and I hadn't been able to go or drop him off to it, that I would really like to be there when he got back. Dp didn't really get this, so we just left it as 'it's a mum thing'.
At the final leg of the journey between trains, dp's brother and girlfriend popped off to buy their son a present. About 5 mins before train was due to leave I suggested we walk up to the platform so we wouldn't miss the train. DP said, are you worried about missing the train, I said yes. So us 4 remaining walked up to train, dp texted his brother to say what we are doing and would get them on the train. DP then went in the most incredible stropp and said, I had been going on about the time since 11am. The only time I had mentioned it, was when we were all going for breakfast and I suggested somewhere near the train station as there was only an hour to the train.
He never spoke to me the way down on the train, I felt close to tears that a great trip had been ruined.
I picked up ds from trip and came home, by this time i'm angry at dp for ruining great trip, over what I think is ridiculous.

DS, then later on, playing up being naughty etc, so I send him to bed without his supper. DP hits the roof saying I am starving him and makes him toast (ds in bed, normal bedtime). I wouldn't let dp give him the toast as I said it totally undermimes me, thus last night was a barrell of laughs as well.

I can't be fucking bothered with all this pettyness anymore. So much bad feeling and im sure this is another reason for it, otherwise he really is just a petty fucking tosser?

Sorry had to just get things down, still feel really down about it all.

[motherlovebone]

it wont do a healthy child harm to miss their supper once, as you know, obviously.
sounds like you are being a good mum, firm, punctual, child no.1 priority.
if otherwise things are ok, just take some deep breaths.
do you have any supporters in real life?
it feels horrible to be misunderstood i know.

[lilacclaire]

Thanks, i've a feeling that he knows he's being a prick about these things, but that he's angry at me about something else that he won't say what it is.
We also met up with a friend of his who used to have a crush on me, when dp originally found out he was very angry about it and it explained some of his friends previous actions. I'm wondering if this may be the cause of his arseholeness.
He's still not talking to me, he popped up earlier from work and just grunted and made a big show of giving ds kisses and cuddles before heading back to work.

[motherlovebone]

horrid to live in tension, he sounds a bit controlling tbh...
could you ship out for a day or two?
say something like, you dont want to spend the weekend tense?
how long does he usually act like this for?

[lilacclaire]

Im working all weekend thank goodness, just tonight and tomorow morning to get through, if I wasn't I would definetly be off somewhere with ds.
I don't know how long he'll stay like this.
This is what usually happens:

He gets pissed off for some reason (take example given)

I work out what i've done wrong

He then snaps out of his mood and starts being all cheery (without warning at all), BUT....by then im usually pissed off by his mood and being ignored, snidey comments (usually restrain from retaliating as just can't be bothered with it by this point) and because im not in a laughy jokey mood (I have told him why), he then goes back into his mood and everything is then my fault.

Out of interest, what bit struck you as controlling? Was it the bit with ds and ignoring me?

[lilacclaire]

bumpty bump

[motherlovebone]

yeh, just the general undermining, about train, time, food, then has opportunity to see you and uses it kind of against you. you have to parent together. i get the impression he was so loving with DS to show you something/to exclude you?
all this moodiness is to controlling.
got to run, back later/ tomorrow

[lilacclaire]

Thanks, I couldnt really see his reasons except with ds where I felt he was trying to exclude me.
He's just 'popped to the shops' which means he off to buy some alcohol, given that we haven't really spoken this evening I think i'll have an early one!