When friends find out that I am living as part of an extended family I always get asked lots of questions about how marriages and family life work in this "unusual" setting. Write a daily blog they said, so I did. Post it every day to mumsnet they said, so I did.
But zero, nil, zilch interest shown
No comments, no sign that anybody reads it. Are my family too unusual to be of interest?
By way of background: I live with my husband Richard and daughters Dawn and Diana. Diana who got married last year to Paul and they both work in the National Health Service and they live with us. Also sharing the house are my sister Clara and Brother-in-Law Mike plus their two children Helen and Sue. Helen and Sue are both in their 20s and are respectively an IT professional and a teacher. To complicate matters Mike and I had a long term sexual relationship before Richard was on the scene and Mike and I remain very close and are what you might call best friends.
Maybe its like you see on reality shows - 'All my friends told me to enter, they said im a great singer etc etc' when really they are just trying to spare the feelings of the poor person that sings like a drowning cat?
I think some folk are being very unkind in this thread. It can take a lot of bravery to post about an unusual lifestyle and if people start to feel inhibited about doing so even in mumsnet.com then I think we should all feel a degree of disappointment.
We read all sorts of (true) stories on this site but if there is one that doesn't ring true we are at liberty to ignore it. What I don't think is OK is to attempt to openly cast doubts on the morals, motives or methods of other members.
I know of at least two groups broadly similar to that described in this thread except they have sons so cannot be exactly the same folk. Seems fair enough to me.
Perhaps "extended" has been a bit overenthusiastic in promoting her blog but I gather she is new to the group so let's cut her a bit of slack. Please
BottySpottom wrote Sounds interesting, though I must admit my overriding reaction to reading your post above was 'poor Richard'.
Richard is surrounded by people that he loves and that love him. He works at a job he enjoys and is good at. The multiple income streams that an extended family generate mean that any financially bad years for the farm that happen from time to time dont really matter.
Noddyholder wrote Well I have my brother living with us atm and he is doing my head in so I take my hat off to you.Do you ever get any peace/privacy?
We dont tend to go in for privacy in quite the way that some folk seem to. Of course we do have various social areas that seem to come in and out of fashion on an irregular basis. The two rooms with a TV only get much use in the winter and the dining room/homework room sees less use now all the girls have finished school. The kitchen is easily the busiest room and the study is only used for business rather than leisure.
We generate our privacy within these public spaces. If Dawn is sitting with her Uncle Mike on the talking chair in the kitchen it means do not disturb or eavesdrop on their conversation. If Helen or Sue are sitting on a straw bale with their Uncle Richard in the green barn it means the same thing. Both happen several times a week. If any of the married or engaged or over 18s are in their bedrooms with the door closed it means DO NOT DISTURB PRIVATE TIME!
Mary - Extended is as 'new to the group' (huh?) as you are- only posts from today for both of you.
On every post you extended has made today, she has linked to 'her' blog (though all posts are written from her DD's pov)- she has apologised, but has not redacted those posts which would be the appropriate thing to do.
Also- you have been writing this for 1 week- that's hardly any time for people to notice it. Plus, no comments does not equal no readers.
Extended- you don't sound pompous- just stilted and cliched. FWIW I know quite a few extended families- they are hardly unusual.