The lying there and letting him get on with it thing?
Sex is just not important to me, i don't want it (for more reasons than just not feeling like it) nor do i particularly like it . DH however, has quite a high sex drive and is such a sex pest sometimes that it is often easier, and makes for a quieter life just to let him get on with it.
Hmm, well DH gets into a right strop and starts behaving like a child. It ends up him being really awful to the DCs and it's not really fair on them. Much easier on all of us for me to pretend for 10 mins lol.
MumOfMonsters - this is an awful situation for you and DH.
The question is do you want to (or can you) do anything to improve your libido so you can enjoy sex again?
I notice TrinityRhino comment "because you're not well" and apologise I do not know what illness you have.
You have a right not to have sex and just enduring it is not a long term solution and not fair on DH either. You have a low libdo and he as a normal libido. You do not want sex and he does. Neither of you is wrong. You are clearly unhappy and judging from his anger so is DH.
If in the end you do not want (or cannot) begin to enjoy sex again and DH is unwilling to agree to a celibate relationship then you will have to allow him to express his sex drive elsewhere. You cannot force him to be trapped in a sexless monogomous marriage if he does not want that. You have a right to not have sex and he has a right to express his normal sex drive.
Agreeing to sex when you do not want it is too awful to contemplate and to be honest I could never enjoy sex with DW if she did not enjoy it.
You must be brutally frank with yourself and DH and deal with the issue or it will make you and DH forever unhappy.
(ever wish you had posted with a different name?!)
You are right that he has a right to express his sex drive elsewhere, i guess that is why i just go along with it tbh - so that he WON'T !! For all i moan about him, i do love him and he loves me-we have only been married 6 months!
Fwiw, the times i just "lie there" he doesn't know i don't want it.It's not as if he is ignoring me saying no- alarm bells would be ringing if that was the case and i would be out like a shot!!
I have anorexia and depression - DH knows about the depression and is beginning to notice my weightloss so will have to fully admit that my "ana" is back.
Part of me not wanting sex is my body issues, i don't like being naked, i don't like other ppl seeing my body and i don't like other people touching my bare skin.
I think a better solution than letting him have sex elsewhere would be dealing with the issues you have. You don't have 'no libido', your libido has gone into hiding because of your self image, depression and anorexia. If you can, you need to address this with your DH which means - explaining why you don't want sex now in a way he's understand, making a commitment to improving this situation with his help, and a commitment from him to be patient and not either hassle you for sex, or take it out on the children or you. IMO that's the only way to tackle this situation that won't damage your relationship which both continuing as you are, and withdrawing sex permanently, will do.
To answer your Q - I have done it occasionally and it's fine, but something would be very wrong if I did it all the time, and I only to it because I genuinely want to.