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ok, I would like positive stories of relationship recovery please.

(11 Posts)
midstoffog Mon 15-Jun-09 18:47:47

have namechanged btw

Remember a MNer once saying long term relationships operate in months and years not days and weeks so it is 'normal' to have "a bad year". But I feel like I am well into 2nd year here.

It feels like DH and I share a house rather than a life.

6yr wedding anniversary on sunday -nothing. 15 years since we got together a few weeks ago - nothing.
We never make big fuss, but I thought 15 years was fairly impressive...

Sex life....<<tumbleweed>>

Add to that I was depressed on and off throughout last year, though it was the pill, changed pill in Jan, thought 'cured' and now feel baaad again.

midstoffog Mon 15-Jun-09 18:58:47

you're all eating dinner or doing bedtime....aren't you...?

Niecie Mon 15-Jun-09 19:04:55

I didn't want you to go unanswered but I'm afraid I don't have any positive story.

That said, it doesn't mean that you can't turn your relationship around.

Do you know how your DH feels about everything? My DH has started to 'forget' anniversaries, saying he didn't think we bothered any more. I am going to have to up front and say what I expect (not much but just some recognition of the day) but I think part of the problem is lack of communication and not knowing what our expectations of each other are.

Have you seen the doctor about feeling bad? If you feel stronger, perhaps you will be better able to deal with this relationship dip.

Sorry you are feeling this way. It isn't nice I know.

midstoffog Mon 15-Jun-09 19:29:00

Thanks niecie.
Poor communication is probably something of a cause and an effect...

BEAUTlFUL Mon 15-Jun-09 20:10:46

Did you do anything for the anniversaries?

Could there be any explanation, like your DH is exceptionally busy at work, or you said "We don't need to make a fuss of the anniversaries" but actually secretly didn't really mean it?

midstoffog Mon 15-Jun-09 20:14:23

I made him a picture for the 15th.

midstoffog Mon 15-Jun-09 20:24:46

he is busy.
so am I.

the anniversary thing is a symptom...not the problem, iykwim.
I'd probably be less bothered by the anniversary thing if the relationship in general felt healthy...

saggyjuju Mon 15-Jun-09 20:46:27

i had a supersad longstanding relationship that really should never have happened we were kids growing up together really,i now have a six year relationship that is a good one,but we still have the dull times and the tumbleweed times,but this time the differance is determination to succeed and be happy,all we do is be totally upfront and sort our problems then move on to the good times again,no giving up

TripleTroubleMuffin Mon 15-Jun-09 20:47:41

We have had two bad patches in our marriage (not including difficult ones wrt the kids and our health) and the second one was much worse but we are better than ever at the moment and I am hoping we will be able to go away for our wedding anniversary next month.

I am shattered so probably being a bit thick but couldn't see a specific problem, apart from a seeming lack of communication and gifts for wedding anniversary.

midstoffog Mon 15-Jun-09 20:55:46

I wonder if my depression is back and is making me focus on the negatives. Or have the negatives caused the depression.

Still need to address the negatives either way don't I?

saggyjuju Mon 15-Jun-09 22:45:21

i suffer with pmt really badly,i take agnus castus now and it helps massively,but i can tell that week before a period i get seriously depressed and definately dwell on negatives and explode incidents massively

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