Im 16 1/2 weeks along. I have a 20 month old son whom I adore & after I had him, couldnt wait to increase my brood. Hubby also wanted more but not until little man was atleast 2. Around xmas, hubby expressed a desire for us to start trying again, so we did. Then we started having serious problems in the marraige. Sex had practicaly stopped, so I didnt bother going back onto the pill as I fealt that the relationship was almost over & told hubby that if we did do the 'deed', he would have to use protection because I wasnt; otherwise there was a risk of me getting pregnant.
Anyway, long & short of it was we had unprotected sex (after quite a while of not using protection & not conceiving) & low & behold we are now expecting baby number 2 & have decided to try & give 'us' another go.
Im very happy about it because Im frightened to death of being a single mum & have no where to go ( we are locked into an interest only fixed rate mortgage that is presently in negative equity & have no savings - so we can't sell the house) & also because I absolutely love being a mum & am happy that my little one will soon have a baby brother or sister to play with & grow up with. I was shocked when I first found out because it was unexpected but far from dissappointed.
My hubby on the other hand, didnt give the same reaction.I hadnt hidden anything from him - he knew the score from the get go. He didnt ask me to have an abortion & when I suggested that option, he was against it (which was a releif on my part!) but still managed to make me feel like I had done this all by myself, like there was blame to be placed & that i was a major inconvenience. I was suffering from morning sickness up to 6 times a day,36 G very tender boobs, headaches, bad sleep, doing a 36 hour week (3 x 12 hour shifts) & looking after our toddler & the house. All he seemed to bothered about was the fact that sex was the very last thing on my mind & deemed my sickness as 'convenient' because I always seemed to be ill when he wanted sex ( never mind that I just constantly fealt bloody awful & exhausted!) If I just wanted a cuddle or to actually both go to bed at the same so that we could snuggle, it wasn't enough for him. I was trying to make him still feel loved, but just kept getting shot down in flames & in return was being made to feel unloved. He says that I only want him to make babies with & to go out to work & bring home the bacon & that it's always about 'me'. He rolls his eyes when I talk about my bump & says that its all that I ever talk about - its not, no matter what I talk about he doesnt seem interested & prefers the company of his online gaming buddies until atleast 4am every night. He only seems to interact with our toddler if I press him to do so & if I leave him in his care, he forgets or just plain cant be arsed to do simple things like nappy change & give him proper food ( not just packets of milk buttons for breakfast & crisps for dinner) so I never really get any 'me' time to just chill out. He does work an awful lot of hours & I kow that he's worried about how we are going to manage financially when baby arrives. We have already talked about this, but he just seems to want to argue, place blame & dig up stuff from the past rather than try to reach a resolve & move forward. Im actually starting to feel guilty for being pregnant.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Husband being so unsupportive - I apparently managed to get pregnant all by myself!!!
4 replies
Louby1983 · 15/06/2009 16:06
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.