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How often do you and kids see your mother-in-law?

(54 Posts)
SPARKLER1 Wed 11-May-05 14:13:54

Haven't seen mine in weeks and weeks. Dh never bothers much with her, never phones her or visits unless I nag him so much he goes to keep the peace. I see or talk to my mum nearly every day but dh is not close to his at all.
I feel bad then because MIL is not getting to see dds very often then.
I suppose I ought to pop round after school today with them to see her but don't really want to go. There's never any conversation when we go round I seem to be the one that struggles to keep chatting to avoid the awkward silence. Whenever I talk to her about dds she never seems to be interested in them just answers by saying that her other grand-children have done something better (other grand-children are dh's sisters's kids).
I know she is going to ask how dh is as well and I have to watch what I say about the fact that he isn't fussed about going round to see her.
Grrrrrrrrrr families!

Slink Wed 11-May-05 14:16:04

EVERY BLOODY DAY................ she lives with us, OH WHY GOD WHY........... SHE CAN'T LIVE FOREVER..............CAN SHE

SPARKLER1 Wed 11-May-05 14:16:11

Just gonna phone now to see if she's going to be in later....let's hope not

koalabear Wed 11-May-05 14:18:07

see mine at least once a week, when she takes my son out for the afternoon (by herself to do whatever she wants) but she complains that it is not enough, that she "doesn't know her grandson" - he's only 1 year old ! she also complains that i am "always looking over her shoulder" - that's because I dont trust her

SPARKLER1 Wed 11-May-05 14:18:52

It's ringing..........

SPARKLER1 Wed 11-May-05 14:19:06

.............and ringing..............

kid Wed 11-May-05 14:19:06

I take my MIL shopping every thursday and then have dinner at her house with DH and the kids.
Sometimes go out down the market on Saturday and DD sleeps there every Saturday night. DS sometimes sleeps there in a Friday.

I usually speak to my mum everyday and pop round there a couple of times a week.

She sounds closer to her own DDs but that could just be because she sees them more? Just tell her that your DH is busy if she asks after him. Or you could get onto him about making a point of going round there.

SPARKLER1 Wed 11-May-05 14:19:21

.....and ringing...........

kid Wed 11-May-05 14:19:44

lol sparkler1

SPARKLER1 Wed 11-May-05 14:19:52

Yeeeeee-haaaaa!!...ahem I mean Oh No she doesnt appear to be in!

SPARKLER1 Wed 11-May-05 14:20:57

Well I did try didn't I?

wordsmith Wed 11-May-05 14:22:02

Never. She passed away when I was pg with ds2.

However, I do recall clearly feeling just like the rest of you when she was alive . Think this relationship is always gonna be difficult!

juniperdewdrop Wed 11-May-05 14:24:36

We see ours once a week but we have to go there. They are old and it's only MIL who drives but they manage to drive further than our house no bother? They put themselves out more for BIL and his wife tbh but we're past caring.

I know for a fact if she had a daughter we'd be way down the pecking order. This seems to happen for some reason?

You can only make the effort for so long and then it's up to them IMO.

juniperdewdrop Wed 11-May-05 14:25:30

sorry wasn't laughing at you wordsmith. Your message wasn't up b4 I posted.

Fimbo Wed 11-May-05 14:28:09

Am I the only one that actually likes her MIL? In fact I get on better with her than I do my own mother!!! I only see them both a couple of times a year as we live in England and they are in Scotland. We always stay with my pil when in Scotland much to my parents disgust.

Thomcat Wed 11-May-05 14:28:58

Once every couple of weeks or so sometimes more. I like their company though and they live up the road. The weekend before laast they came over for dinner Saturday night. Sunday we went to theirs and then we met up in a pub on Bank Holiday Moday amd then last weekend we had another Saturday night in with them as D's brother was up from Brighton and styaying over so....That's LOADS!

juniperdewdrop Wed 11-May-05 14:30:47

I love my inlaws to bits but they don't make any effort for us? They've even been on holiday with us a few times so we get on well.

wordsmith Wed 11-May-05 14:30:52

No probs jd, I do miss her, but tbh we did have a 'difficult' relationship. As I said, I thinks most women do. I dread the pooor woman who ever marries my youngest brother (anyone willing? He's 40 this month, own house, own car, own teeth, solvent, my mum is desperate to fix him up!) My mum is so used to organising her 'baby's' life, I doubt if she'd be able to let go that easy.... Trouble is my bro just lets her. He's an 'anything for a quiet life' type.

compo Wed 11-May-05 14:32:38

roughly about 4-6 times a year. They live 6 hours away from us. I would hate to see mine every weekend!!!

juniperdewdrop Wed 11-May-05 14:36:38

Glad I didn't offend

so is your bro a good catch then? Maybe we could fix him up with a mumsnetter?

pinkroses Wed 11-May-05 14:44:43

Never see mine...she is evil!!

flum Wed 11-May-05 14:44:54

Mmmm not often enough!!

At moment am living with her for few days. She is an amazing cook, totally takes over all care of dd when I'm there, including baths. She buys loads of nappies and stuff.

its great! and she has a swimming pool (actually thats the best bit)

I get on much better with her than with my own Mum. I think its because we both make a bit of an effort.

And she is just so relieved her ds has shacked up with a decent chick [modest emoticon] as he was a total rebel, nightmare teenager and pissed up a very expensive education up the wall.

Hausfrau Wed 11-May-05 14:46:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland Wed 11-May-05 14:48:24

At least 2x/week if not more. We're very close to them - DH is there right now working in their garden. We do all their garden maintenance for them and I help MIL in the house whenever I can. They adore DD as they have two sons and no other female grandchildren, and look after her whenever we ask. They have to be two of the most decent, honest, generous, warm-hearted people I've ever met. We wouldn't be where we are w/o them. We're lucky to live nearby.

lockets Wed 11-May-05 14:50:52

Message withdrawn

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