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you have had one date... what is the longest you would expect to wait before going on next date?

(29 Posts)
sunshineandrainbow Fri 12-Jun-09 18:35:27

and when would you give up waiting?

ninah Fri 12-Jun-09 18:37:47

depends on circs - more info?

Tinker Fri 12-Jun-09 18:40:53

How long have you been waiting? Have you heard from him/her at all since first date?

sunshineandrainbow Fri 12-Jun-09 18:44:23

ok spent last friday out with him .. had the best time ever. he said when i got out the car he thought WOW- but now i am doubting myself due to rubbish comments for men in the past sad
he is away this weekend at a festival so this weekend is out.. he said to me that when he gets back he would like me to take few days off work so we can spend some time together.. which was lovely thing to say

BUT i have only heard from him once this week
is that ok and am i just worrying for no reason- which i do tend to do to be honest

I am so out of practise with this dating stuff

And i am not the kind of person to bombard him woth texts etc.. and he is really not into texting
I wish i could be more relaxed about this..

ninah Fri 12-Jun-09 18:45:38

sounds OK if he has plans this weekend
let him do the chasing, believe me if he's into you he will - good luck!

Tinker Fri 12-Jun-09 18:48:33

That sounds ok, you have heard from him at least. Just be busy yourself

sunshineandrainbow Fri 12-Jun-09 18:49:22

I did text him before he went

'hope you have a great time in ....... see you when you get back'

hope thats not to stalkery

I wont text again then will leave it to him now

sunshineandrainbow Fri 12-Jun-09 18:50:00

thanks also for taking time to reply smile

flourybaps Fri 12-Jun-09 19:21:34

Yes, def leave it now and no doubt you will hear from him in the week. I think some blokes are just like that, my dp was when we got together, he never texted me, only rang me to make arrangements for the next time we were to see each other.

Hes still like that now! Rubbish on his phone, never has any battery, leaves it at home blah blah, just the way he his.

Keep yourself bsy over the weekend take your mind off him and hope you have a lovely few dates together when he gets back from the festival.

bigTillyMint Fri 12-Jun-09 19:24:01

So far it sounds fine grin

You don't want to look needy or stalkerish, so I think you're right to leave it to him to make the next move.

Even if it's killing you wink

sunshineandrainbow Fri 12-Jun-09 20:35:34

thanks this has really helped> glad i posted

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 12-Jun-09 21:50:08

Message withdrawn

sunshineandrainbow Sat 13-Jun-09 17:27:08

ha ha thanks for shring my pain!!!

i have to accept that i am a binge worrier..

I just wish i knew either way.. I know he is not a texter as before we met we both went to a gig seperately.. he texted me on way home i replied then 6 days later he texted me saying he wasnt sure if he had replied to my text i had sent him the week before!!!

I am over anylasing (sp) everything he said like would he have said about me taking time off work to spend time with him if he didnt like me.. I am so paranoid, as last bloke i was connected to told me in a brutal fashion he didnt fancy me and it has really knocked me.. but then would he have said when i got out the car he thought WOW.. he didnt have to say nice things to me if he didnt mean them.. ARRRGGGHHHHHH

I am trying to think well if he doesnt like me then ok i dont want to be with someone who doesnt like me as much as i like them.

aseriouslyblondemoment Sat 13-Jun-09 20:28:30

agree with ninah here,please do not contact him again
sit tight and wait for him to do the chasing
if he's interested he'll def be in touch with yousmile

sunshineandrainbow Sat 13-Jun-09 21:39:31

true enough... I will resist the temptation..

does that mean if i dont hear from him at all then i dont contact him at all?

it is really really hard not to text him really want to text something like.. hope you are having a good time in .....

but i def dont want him to think i have nothing else to think about except him smile so i wont text him.. i can and i will be strong!!!!

howtotellmum Sat 13-Jun-09 21:47:44

Hard as it is, if he doesn't contact you, leave it.

Even the friendliest, coolest text still gives the message that you are interested- and some men find that off putting- they like to be in control!

BrokenFlipFlop Sat 13-Jun-09 21:50:41

Don't text or... of you simply have to write the text out and then send it to yourself. Yes I know it sounds odd but one of my friends swears by it. Read the text a few times and you'll hopefully realise that whatever you were going to text him isn't worth sending as it can actually wait.

For example, instead of asking if he's having a good time, you can wait a couple more days and when he returns, ask him if he 'had' a good time.

God I don't think this makes sense ... basically just don't text yet.

Oh, if you don't hear from him don't give up yet. He's a festival and presumably with a group of friends and so is occupied with other things.

sunshineandrainbow Sat 13-Jun-09 21:57:15

Good plan.... i do sometimes regret sending texts so from now on will save them in my drafts then decide later whether to send or not...

Ok i now accept that if i conatct him i will ruin any chances we have... and to be honest i want him to be the one to make the effort and contact me..

BrokenFlipFlop Sat 13-Jun-09 22:01:45

Exactly and to be fair to him, he does sound very keen ie making plans to spend loads of time with you etc. If he really means what he said then he will call you..

(Um.. I'm saying all this but if I were in your situation, I would be feeling exactly the same as you!!)

sunshineandrainbow Sat 13-Jun-09 22:10:35

and if this was my friend saying what i am saying i would be telling her exactly the same as what you are telling me...

He did seem keen... so like you say if he was as keen as he seemed then he will want to see me again and contact me...

BrokenFlipFlop Sat 13-Jun-09 22:29:02

I've been chatting to a guy for a week or so (we haven't met up yet) and yesterday he sent me a text at around 9am.

I didn't actually reply until about 9pm simply because I was ridiculously busy. He admitted that he thought I wasn't ever going to respond.

The point is, when you're waiting for someone to respond to you, its v easy to forget that they might genuinely be v busy. I guess I always assume the worst (because of previous experiences etc). However, not all men are going to mess you about.

sunshineandrainbow Sat 13-Jun-09 22:46:48

he is a bit older than me. and my friend keeps telling me that he isnt form the texting generation.. he says much more to my face about how much he likes me etc... wheres as i would find it easier to write that sort of thing down

He knows about the bloke that turned round and said ' i just dont fancy you'
so he said to me no matter what happens between us i will always fancy you...

we are meant to be going to concert in a few weeks he got the tickets.. and staying overnight in London... so i am really looking forward to that... if i ever hear from him again...

where did you meet your new man?

aseriouslyblondemoment Sat 13-Jun-09 22:52:14

it's entirely up to you here of course but yes if it helps you draft a text
but seriously do not contact him until he contacts you and then not an instantaneous reply!
believe me needy isn't a great look!and without wishing to sound old fashioned here or using 'the rules' he needs to think that he must make an effort to secure another date with you
and if he doesn't make the effort then sadly chalk it up to experience and move on

aseriouslyblondemoment Sat 13-Jun-09 22:53:49

sunshine where did you meet him btw?

BitOfFun Sat 13-Jun-09 22:55:51

I'm sure he will be in touch- in the meantime, keep busy and be the fascinating creature you are!

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