I have been seeing my bf for about 6 months, i did something REALLY bad & looked through the texts on his phone. Don't know why really just found myself doing it. Much to my horror i found that he has been texting a girl he met last week saying how beautiful he thinks she is & would like to see her in the future am seeing him tonight & supposed to be spending the weekend with him. He has acted completely normally with me & I am sure nothing actually happened between them when they met but obviously i feel that if he is doing that he cant really be into me. feel sad, upset & a bit cross & dont know what to do or say Please help
Have you actually had a discussion with this man about whether or not your relationship is sexually exclusive? If you haven't, then it's time to have one. But bear in mind that if he has not agreed to be in a monogamous relationship then he's not, actually, done anything wrong.
In what circumstance was he meeting this other girl?
Perhaps you shouldn't have looked through his phone but he certainly shouldn't be texting another woman and telling her how beautiful she is if the two of you have decided that you are exclusive to each other. He is more in the wrong for his actions than you are for yours.
Tell him what you found and that it's not on and he can bugger off because you won't stand for this rubbish.
We did talk about being exclusive to each other way back & i told him in no uncertain terms that if he ever slept with anyone else that would be it. that's one thing i have always been un swerving about with my bf's. thing is now i feel my trust in him has gone & i am wondering where he is all the time & if he is with her
i guess you are right it seems crazy to be thinking otherwise when i see it in black & white like that & yes it would be better on my terms than his. oh bloody hell why is life so difficult. still cant own up to what i have done tho. hell i am supposed to be leaving now...
I think for your own closure in the relationship, you could tell him you need to talk to him urgently in person and that your weekend plans are on hold.
Tell him you had a 'second sense' that something was up after (whenever the wedding was), you're sorry you snooped, but under the circumstances you're glad you did because you will not have anything less than a faithful partner. Then let him say what he has to say.
It's not ideal, because he has flirted, but zero tolerance may make him see what he's losing - you'll make your own judgement on trusting him.
I wouldnt go, and I would fess up to looking through his phone and finding the text. If you want an exclusive relationship it dosent look like your going to get it from him, he was saying he would like to meet up with her!
my best friend is one of his friends thats how we met & dont feel i can talk to her about this esp what i have done. right i think i am going to go over there & tell him it's not working & leave it at that i just cant confess.. hope you all dont think i am spineless. thanks for your advice, i will keep you posted x