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Really embarrassed by DP's behaviour yesterday - threatning old people

(33 Posts)
SoggyBogRoll Fri 12-Jun-09 13:41:57

Yesterday me and DP went for a drive out to a local farm based pet shop. Stood in the driveway, were a group of around 5 old people stood chatting. They were kind of half on the road and half on the path.

As we drove up to them DP said "look at these fucking idiots, hey I know ... lets all stand on the driveway of a shop, what a great idea".

I was a little hmm because although I agreed with him that it was stupid and inconsiderate of them to stand there like that, I thought he was over-reacting somewhat.

Anyway, next thing he actually sped up and went tearing around the corner, onto the driveway (faster than he normally would) missing one of the old women by inches. Another one woman dragged her out of the way and one of them shouted "Idiot" at the car.

I didn't know which way to look, I was so embarrassed. So we're going down the driveway and DP said "Did you hear her? she called me an idiot! well she shouldn't be standing in the middle of the bloody road then should she! if she wants to have a go I'll have a go back and I'll tell her straight! infact I'm hoping she does say something and I'll have a right go at her ... "

shock I said "she was about 80, would you seriously stand there and have a go at an old woman??" (he's 6ft tall, it would be intimidating to an old woman) and he said "damn right I would, I'll tell her exactly what I think, and the rest of them"

So we go into the pet shop and I'm hoping to god the old people had moved on ... unfortunately they were heading for the shop too and when the old woman came in, DP stared at her and forced her to look away before him! I could have died with embarrassment.

We have not been together long but I have seen him speed up at people walking in front of the car to make a point. Last week he almost knocked a postman off his bike on a roundabout ... again, the postman was at fault but if DP had have slowed down it wouldn't have been such a near-miss.

I don't know what to think to be honest. I really lost respect for him yesterday. A 6ft bloke threatning an old woman?? sad

apostrophe Fri 12-Jun-09 13:43:14

Message withdrawn

bellabelly Fri 12-Jun-09 13:43:22

Dump him. Seriously.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion Fri 12-Jun-09 13:43:47

Message withdrawn

CrushWithEyeliner Fri 12-Jun-09 13:45:04

OMG he is absolutely vile - that would be the last time I saw him. He sounds like a psychotic.

TripleTroubleMuffin Fri 12-Jun-09 13:45:17

You were only "embarrassed?"

I would have been furious and would dump him. Seriously.

Tortington Fri 12-Jun-09 13:45:37


lilacclaire Fri 12-Jun-09 13:45:58

Oooh he has issues!
Road rage to the extreme! Im a bit of a rager myself, but usualy mutter to myself and would never dream of actualy speeding up to give someone a fright.
I would refuse to get in a car with him and tell him exactly why.

Rhubarb Fri 12-Jun-09 13:46:11


DaddyG Fri 12-Jun-09 13:46:21

He is a wanker. Dump, fast.

traceybath Fri 12-Jun-09 13:46:27

I don't say this often but seriously dump him before it gets serious.

He's probably been on best behaviour with you up until now and it may be that you're just beginning to see the real him.

If he does put you in a situation like that again i would personally distance myself from him and apologise to the people concerned.

Mutt Fri 12-Jun-09 13:47:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzylou Fri 12-Jun-09 13:47:35

Bullying Dick, dump him.
If he can make himself feel good by threatening and intimidating OAP's, what would he be like with you should you row?

hf128219 Fri 12-Jun-09 13:47:44

What an absolute f'ing tosser.

Flower3545 Fri 12-Jun-09 13:47:57

What Rhubarb said

TripleTroubleMuffin Fri 12-Jun-09 13:48:13


PortBlacksandResident Fri 12-Jun-09 13:48:17

You know, whenever i get some bloke in a car being aggressive to me (whether i'm in my van or walking) - you know, yelling giving V signs etc. I always think of the woman sitting next to him "you must be so proud hmm"

Do you really want to be associated with him?

GetOrfMoiLand Fri 12-Jun-09 13:49:49

No he's a bully and a twat.

I get road ragey (it is a horrible trait, I am very calm natured except when driving) however I restrict it to mutterings and hufty puffing. No way would I dream of intimidating anyone in that way.

He is a moron. What happens when he gets ragey at you?

apostrophe Fri 12-Jun-09 13:51:51

Message withdrawn

PortBlacksandResident Fri 12-Jun-09 13:53:52

You can tell alot about a man by the way he drives a car and treats animals.

junglist1 Fri 12-Jun-09 14:14:45

If a man wants to start on someone his own size that's his buisness, but a man who mistreats women, old people, children or animals is what I'd call a weakheart, a bully who'd get battered in a pubfight and then take it out on the Mrs when he got home. HATE.

So, OP, how long have you been with him?

citronella Fri 12-Jun-09 14:18:35

My exh showed flashes like that. I agree it was embarassing and helped chipped away at my respect for him.
I don't like to automatically shout ' leave him' but given that you say you have only been together a short while, I would say listen to your gut instinct on this one.

shadowofacow Fri 12-Jun-09 14:28:36

how on earth do you know if the op is a troll?

my dh is like this, he has got out of cars before and screamed at old people. he is now seeing an anger managment nurse about his issues.

this is only my second post (under this name) does that make me a troll as well?

am i going to have to list my previous names to the mn royalty on this thread and let them judge if i am allowed to post or not?

womma Fri 12-Jun-09 14:39:27

He sounds like bad news OP. He's aggressive and he's going to cause someone damage if he doesn't learn to control himself.
And I think some people on MN get a bit snotty because they may have been around longer than others - get over yourselves, you know who you are

ZZZenAgain Fri 12-Jun-09 14:43:14

A lot of men should not be allowed near cars. Seems to bring something very unpleasant out.

I have a good friend who is not quite this bad but insists he is the only person in the world who can drive, everyone else is too slow or somehow hampering him with their imbecility. I once went on a daytrip with him and his girlfriend (who was driving us in her car). He ranted and screamed at her the whole time. It was dreadful. I told him to shut up, she was nearly in tears and she is not a bad driver, she is a perfectly normal driver. I can't understand it because other than this driving thing he is actually a very nice person.

I realise you were stunned and unhappy but maybe it would have been the thing to do to apologise to that old woman and say you were very sorry to have startled her, is she alright. I think without being downright nasty to him, it would have put him in his place and showed him that you do not condone that kind of behaviour.

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