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anyone out there with children who has separated from their husband - how did you tell your children, what was thier reaction - etc

(11 Posts)
supersalstrawberry Fri 12-Jun-09 13:40:44

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Himbo Fri 12-Jun-09 13:42:49

Sally - you and dh are not splitting are you?

<<sorry have no idea btw>>

supersalstrawberry Fri 12-Jun-09 13:43:49

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Himbo Fri 12-Jun-09 13:44:36

I am sorry to hear that sad

Chandra Fri 12-Jun-09 13:51:39

DS was 4. I had the luck of getting some advice from the association of separated families that certainly helped to make the transition easier for DS:

Against popular belief, it is not a good idea to call them in, ask them to sit and formally announce that you are splitting up.
They advised to minimise the impact of the blow but being very factual and telling them about it when they were busy doing things with you. I believe that with DS this helped, baing more a colloquial conversation it was easier for him to understand that no matter that we would be living in separate houses, we will still be there for him.

We told him when he was playing in the bath, he was a bit shocked for a few seconds, asked if he was going to see his father again and when I said yes, that he would continue to see him almost every day and that he was going in a special trip to daddy's house every other weekend, where he would have a bunk bed and... and that was the end of the conversation! as soon as I mentioned the bunk bed he was very happy about it all hmm

Chandra Fri 12-Jun-09 13:53:16

Is it you Sally? (c h a n d r a here), sorry to hear about it

Any possibility of fixing things up (relate, etc?)

Chandra Fri 12-Jun-09 13:54:01

and obviously my new name is not active at the moment..

supersalstrawberry Fri 12-Jun-09 14:14:25

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freeasabird Fri 12-Jun-09 14:41:56

hi sally sad to hear that you and your dh may be splitting up.

with DS who is 12 (and also ASD) we told him when he was playing a game,we both told him together,that we were splitting but that he could go and stay with H and H suggested that he have a look at his new house with him.

DS was very upset for about 20mins and locked himself in his bedroom, i bribed him out with a dominos pizza,him and H went for a walk and H took him to his new house.

That was 3 weeks ago and hes ok now,hes still sad but hes stayed over and has accepted it.

With DD shes only 5 and also ASD and we have decided to wait until school finishes until we tell her properly where daddy lives,for the moment we,ve told her hes gone back to work on nights (which he has) and she was upset for a few days but shes accepted it,we think she knows as she refuses to go to his house,but ExH picks her up from school every night and takes her to his parents a couple of times a week.

HTH

supersalstrawberry Sun 14-Jun-09 16:53:08

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supersalstrawberry Fri 19-Jun-09 16:40:33

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