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Tips for moving on emotionally from ex.

(5 Posts)
oneforward20back Fri 12-Jun-09 00:41:29

Ok here goes...
thought had moved on emotionally from ex. recent events had made it very evident that haven't. I could use some tips to help me work through this.

I am an emotional bottler/wall builder. Ex was first person really let in emotionally and probably first proper love. Have to have fairly regular contact as ds has sn and he has very regular visits so i can have r&r. So how do i start to workthings out. I need to has he has completely moved on but really don't know how. help.

anothermum92 Fri 12-Jun-09 20:28:42

Message withdrawn

raisinbran Fri 12-Jun-09 23:12:14

It is hard, time will help, you just can't fast track the emotions and it is a roller coaster.

tips/ suggestions

Try a counseller (I Tried 2, 1st one I didn't click with 2nd one was excellent) and focused more on my hang ups self confidence.

Read self help books ( Crazy Time by abigail trafford).

Try to accept life isn't fair and the good guys don't always get the best deal..... but life is in your hands and its what you make it.

Try new things/ experiences.

Changes wont happen instantly but develop, so start planning where you want to be and what you want your life to be like and workout how you can achieve it.

Treat your self... posh skin cream or manicure etc.

You hear it often and don't beleive it can happen to you but 2 years on I have gone from where you are at and have found a wonderful man its only been a few months but I am head over heals in love and he feels the same way.

Good luck.

bigted Sat 13-Jun-09 00:37:59

Can you afford new carpets/ paint on the walls of all rooms?

imanidiot Sat 13-Jun-09 09:39:08

oh I sympathise with you I really really do.

In the same boat. So hard. Try counselling, as others have said.

It's very hard when you see them regularly because of the children, and to see that they have no feelings for you. My goodness that hurts.

Whatever you do, don't sleep with them (See my other threads!) it will only take you back about 50 steps.

The pain of breakup is so hard, especially for the ones left behind. You're ex is in a different place to you and that's really hard to accept. I know it and feel it. Its awful. But, think of it like an illness (the breakup, that is, not the relationship!) and that you will have good days, bad days and one day a complete recovery! That's what I'm hoping anyway.

Find a hobby or just escape when x comes round. Get out of the house. Don't hang around trying to talk about things or hope that they'll look at you and go "good god, she is the best thing that ever happened to me, I want her back" because it won't happen and even if it did, you don't want it to happen on those terms. Believe me I have been there and all it's done is crush my soul and ruin my confidence.

Get out, make friends, do something, exercise.....It won't go away immediately because you're grieving and you still have feelings for your x. But be kind to yourself.

I know how awful it is. I am still going through it myself and it's rubbish

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