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Don't feel "emotionally " comfortable being close to dh

(28 Posts)
togoornot Thu 11-Jun-09 21:55:29

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mrsboogie Thu 11-Jun-09 21:56:56

Why in hell are you even bothering?

togoornot Thu 11-Jun-09 21:58:22

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mrsboogie Thu 11-Jun-09 22:02:37

well, are you having any counselling or anything? doesn't sound like its working between you...

togoornot Thu 11-Jun-09 22:03:29

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mrsboogie Thu 11-Jun-09 22:07:44

time to cut your losses maybe?

togoornot Thu 11-Jun-09 22:16:00

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mrsboogie Thu 11-Jun-09 22:17:05

I'm not surprised - but if you can't get past it maybe there's no alternative but to split?

togoornot Thu 11-Jun-09 22:19:50

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skramble Thu 11-Jun-09 22:24:44

So he injured you 6 years ago and physically agressive again 2 years ago. What else inbetween, what happens next time?

AnyFucker Thu 11-Jun-09 22:36:37


your relationship is obviously dead

GypsyMoth Thu 11-Jun-09 22:38:42

what injury?

controlfreakythecontrolfreak Thu 11-Jun-09 22:39:23

have you posted about this before?

sayithowitis Thu 11-Jun-09 22:42:46

my very cynical mind is screaming littlemucky/mymittens etc etc!
Sorry if you're not her, but this is so like her style1

mrsboogie Thu 11-Jun-09 22:43:41

oh lord, not again hmm

AnyFucker Thu 11-Jun-09 22:44:53

pillock poster ??

feck it grin

GypsyMoth Thu 11-Jun-09 22:46:51

How boring!

controlfreakythecontrolfreak Thu 11-Jun-09 22:51:26

aw come on, dont be too hasty....

op, have you posted about relationship probs before??

togoornot Fri 12-Jun-09 09:32:53

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togoornot Fri 12-Jun-09 21:23:11

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togoornot Sat 13-Jun-09 09:23:51

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controlfreakythecontrolfreak Sat 13-Jun-09 11:35:41

i think maybe the reason there's not lots of replies on here is that only you can decide something as important as this... and you haven't given lots of information / said much about your feelings for anyone to have a lot to go on....

it's simple really in the sense that you can stay / leave / both go to counselling to try and improve things in your relationship / go to counselling on your own to sort out your feelings and make some decisions...

good luck.

togoornot Sat 13-Jun-09 13:17:12

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howtotellmum Sat 13-Jun-09 14:05:14

Which other man- or do you mean men b4 you met DH?

There seem to be 2 issues here- should you stay with an aggressive DH or leave to be with the OM? (??)

I would have thought that a marriage to a once- violent man (still violent?) was a lot worse than losing your home - you can at least rebuild a home on your own with your DC.

This is about forgiveness- can you in your heart forgive him for what he did- is he sorry and are you able to move on?

If he has overstepped a mark, albeit 6 years ago now, and you cannot start over, then maybe you have to leave.

From what you say though the issue is being muddled because you seem to be thinking there is a chance of another relationship with another man?

sayithowitis Sat 13-Jun-09 14:39:22

The Op said that her injury resulted from DH retaliation for her hitting him. She has not indicated whether the injury was caused deliberately or accidentally. There is a big difference IMO. If deliberate, then there is real cause for concern. If accidental, I would feel more able to forgive and move on. However, either way, she needs to accept that she played a part herself, because the info she has given us, infers that whether deliberate or accidental, her injury would not have happened had she not hit her DH first. Or are we saying that she is allowed to hit him but he is not allowed to hit back? (I know that ideally he would not have hit back, but in the heat of the moment, we all do things we know we shouldn't)

If she feels she cannot stay with this man, for whatever reason, she owes it to all of them, to move on from the relationship. If I felt this bad about a relationship and felt that Dh and I could not do anything to make it work, I would have to end it, regardless of what would happen to my lovely home. My emotional well-being and that of my DC, would certainly be a much higher priority for me that the loveliness or otherwise of my home.

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