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Is this normal?

(12 Posts)
friendinneedtoday Thu 11-Jun-09 20:22:02

I am tired....and depressed. I can't write a long diatribe of what is wrong. Tonight DH has just said he is going out and has gone. Never asked if ok, how am I etc etc.

I do not think he is cheating. It would be surprising. But he has a seperate computer at home on which he has password. He never leaves it on near me. He said he wants "privacy". Is it normal for a DH to be like this? Is this acceptsble - I (unhappily) lump it but should I?

poshwellies Thu 11-Jun-09 20:32:41

Sounds odd but odd in the fact that he's not mentioned where he is going.Do you talk to each other as in normal everyday chatter

Maybe call his mobile and see if he answers,dunno he sounds furtive imo.

ThePhantomPlopper Thu 11-Jun-09 20:34:23

Is he always like that? Telling you he's going out and no more details? I wouldn't be happy but some people work like that.

friendinneedtoday Thu 11-Jun-09 20:43:06

I know where he is supposed to be.

more worried about the computer

BrokenFlipFlop Thu 11-Jun-09 21:02:59

Whats your relationship like though ie has he cheated in the past?

Has he recently got the second computer? What's he like normally or is this 'normal'?

Have you had any help/support at all from friends/family/gp?

Lizzylou Thu 11-Jun-09 21:08:17

Have you any reason to be suspicious?
A locked computer would be odd to me, but we have shared email addresses/DH logs into my Facebook page etc which other people find wierd.
Does he often go out and not even try and speak with you? Do you ever go out?
How are things generally with you?

friendinneedtoday Thu 11-Jun-09 21:17:11

Sorry to be brief but baby stirring:
no cheating
computer about a year. In a mood today so gone out.
What support would I need? I am not clinically depressed just depressed at what a pig he can be
we hardly ever go out - he goes out with his mates rarely (fortnightly?) but a lot more regularly then we do
things generally poor

Lizzylou Thu 11-Jun-09 21:36:26

How old is your baby?
Have you told him how you feel?

Sorry to pepper you with questions, I just remember that period when you have a baby and you feel tied to the house and resent your DH's "freedom" to go out (even to work!).

Do you think that could be it?

friendinneedtoday Thu 11-Jun-09 21:40:52

yes I have that feeling but it is a lot more then that.
He really doesn't care. He has told me as much.
I come a very firm last after (in order) him, kids, mates, people he knows, then me
I have realised that if I dropped dead he really wouldn't be distraught. That is a bad revelation. Why am I wasting my time with this.

SolidGoldBrass Thu 11-Jun-09 21:52:14

If he has told you he doesn't care, why is he still there? If he doesn;t want to be in a couple-relationship with you, he should be looking into finding himself somewhere else to live and discussing with you how much maintenance he is going to pay for the DC. Oh, but wait, if he did that, all of a sudden he wouldn;t get his washing done or his meals cooked, would he?
I think you need to have a talk with him about whether he wants to remain in a relationship with you and if he does, he had better treat you with some more consideration, or you won't want to be in a relationship with him.

chubbasmum Thu 11-Jun-09 21:52:25

hey friend talk to him when he gets back men are not like us women they assume things are good because they dont see whats right infront of them and the computer thing is probably to wind you up im sure he would be lost without you men cannot manage kids on their own i know how you feel goodluck hun

poshwellies Thu 11-Jun-09 22:40:03

Erm,my dh is perfectly able to look after our children ,think you'll find most men are very much capable,it depends on whether they want to hmm

OP you need a bloody good chat with your dh .

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