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Should I stay out of a friend's affair

(15 Posts)
SueMunch Thu 11-Jun-09 17:32:51

A friend I used to work with a few years ago has sent me a text out of the blue today. Bearing in mind the fact that I haven't spoken to her properly for years (apart from the odd text and email), what she has asked is quite strange.

She has informed me that she is taking her 'bit on the side' (she is married with children) for a weekend away this weekend and has asked if its okay to send me a text to say she that she is safe.

Quite apart from disapproving of her behaviour, I really don't think I should have to sit around and wait for a text to say things are okay.

I'm not sure what she is up to but I don't want to be part of it. Is this unreasonable of me?

Part of me feels that she is somehow trying to make out she has an exciting life or something but I'm inclined to refuse to get involved.

Any ideas on how to handle this? I don't know her husband so I don't have the problem of feeling guilty about being party to this but I do feel it is grossly unfair on him and their children.

mrsboogie Thu 11-Jun-09 17:36:42

what?? hmm what's the point of that? hmm

what are you supposed to do if she doesn't send the text? ring the police?hmm

how very bizarre...hmm

NationalFlight Thu 11-Jun-09 17:37:03

How odd - that she is safe??

Is she afraid of her lover? It certainly sounds that way. I think despite understanding completely your reluctance to get involved, you might feel better if you contact her directly to ask why she is scared she won't be safe.

I'd be thinking of how to persuade her not to go personally.

Weird thing to happen.

twoluvlykids Thu 11-Jun-09 17:37:56

keep out of it, don't answer txts at all

hercules1 Thu 11-Jun-09 17:39:27

I would send a message back saying you dont want to be involved in at all.

Queenoftheharpies Thu 11-Jun-09 17:45:24

All very wierd. It sounds like she hasn't actually met him in person before, and there's such a lot that can go wrong with that.

junglist1 Thu 11-Jun-09 17:55:28

Tell her if she hasn't met "the bit" yet that you can't be responsible for her safety. She's playing with fire here BIG TIME.

mrsboogie Thu 11-Jun-09 18:10:45

it does sound like she is meeting some random internet man or something

I'd love to know what she expects you to do if you don't get the text??

SerendipitousHarlot Thu 11-Jun-09 18:50:20

What mrsboogie said. I mean, if she's meeting some blind date for a shag, that's her business, but what are you supposed to do if something goes wrong? Do you know where they'll be?

And actually, as I'm typing, I'm thinking more... bollocks. Why should you?

warthog Thu 11-Jun-09 18:59:47

don't respond.

SolidGoldBrass Thu 11-Jun-09 19:46:11

Stay out of it. It sounds as though she is meeting some internet date or whatever and is doing the normally sensible thing of having a check-in call (everyone meeting internet dates should do this, actually) - however, that she is reduced to asking old acquaintances to do it because she doesn't want to let anyone else know she's having an illicit date is her problem, not yours.

tribpot Thu 11-Jun-09 19:48:31

How could she even be sure it was still your number? I'd just leave well enough alone.

SueMunch Fri 12-Jun-09 10:01:23

Thanks everyone!

I'm thinking of texting her back to say that I don't think it's fair to ask me and I can't take responsibility for it.

God knows why she felt it appropriate to ask me, other than the fact she wants to show off in some way.

I'll text her and leave it at that.

By the way, is there a way you can block phone numbers on a mobile. I've found the whole thing quite strange and I'd like to distance myself from her.

howtotellmum Fri 12-Jun-09 10:48:00

don't think you can block nos. on mobiles, but if you simply don't reply,the caller/sender should get the message.

SueMunch Wed 17-Jun-09 12:09:08

Thanks everyone - this is how I resolved this.

I sent a text to my 'friend' to say that I felt it was inappropriate for me to get involved.

She responded in a very apologetic way and said that she didn't want to lose me as a friend.

I responded by wishing her well. I now plan to ignore future texts and have blocked her from my Facebook profile.

I feel that there is something strange about her and don't need her in my life. She just comes across as a fantasist.

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