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Been With partner For 2 years but he hasnt had a job yet

(11 Posts)
argow Wed 10-Jun-09 03:04:42

I met my DP when i was 15 and he was 18 nearly 19. He was not working but at the time this did not bother me. For months i have been asking him to get a job and his excuse is "there are no jobs about" but i know this is not the case as i have had 4 jobs since leaving school last year. His mothor does not help the situation by saying that hes trying his best when i know for a fact that he has no interest whatsoever.

His latest excuse for not trying is the recession ... i feel horrible moaning about him not working but its really bothering me especially since i have just started getting taxed

is there any way i can try to make him more enthusiastic about getting a job?

Give him an ultimatum. Either he puts actual effort in and looks for a job (and has proper evidence of interviews etc) or he can be by himself. Don't feel bad about taking a stand, I'm sure you work hard.

He could stay like this permanently, blaming one thing or another for his fortunes. Does he smoke weed at all? that can demotivate people. Do you have dc together?

argow Wed 10-Jun-09 03:21:43

Yes he does smoke weed when we first got together i didnt mind this but now it has just taken over his life...most days aswell & this is why i get frustrated because i will come in from work or college & hes sat there stoned.

No we do not have DC together but he often touches on the subject. Fortunatly i do not want to have kids at such a young age but if i wanted to he would definatly be up for it.

He is a really nice person but its all got to much for me. I dont really want to give him an ultimation because do i really want to throw away two years because he hasnt got a job

thanks for replying

Get rid, he won't change and you can do better.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 10-Jun-09 03:55:51

Troll alert, sorry. blush

argow Wed 10-Jun-09 04:10:33

Its about the same subject isnt it?

why are you calling me a troll?

and yes like my boyfriend thats why ive wrote a thread about it...

you obviously dont know anything do you OldLadyKnowsNothing if i was a troll surely i would put somthing more interesting on

please dont post on my thread again if your just going to call me names

argow Wed 10-Jun-09 04:16:06

the need for that comment was ????

how does it make me a troll because ive wrote two posts about the same subject?

on one of my posts

For months i have been asking him to get a job and his excuse is "there are no jobs about" but i know this is not the case as i have had 4 jobs since leaving school last year. His mothor does not help the situation by saying that hes trying his best when i know for a fact that he has no interest whatsoever.

and on the second

I am a student & have only been working for two months. I do not mind tax for nhs ect but when its going to people who sit on their ass all day its totally unacceptable. I do not mind mothers who do not work or people who canr work but when people just sit there all day abusing drugs & alcohol it gets me really annoyed. Does anybody else find it unaceptable that people are allowed to do nothing all day and get paid for it?

they match sooo im a troll because??

you've been quite rude really ive come on here with a genuine problem and seeing how other people thought about it and here you are pointing the finger? surely you have somthing better to do than try & make people out to be a troll when their not. Just because i have two posts does not mean im a troll and its not like they dont match either

argow Wed 10-Jun-09 04:18:14

lol you petty person read this

By argow on Tue 09-Jun-09 23:11:51
Sorry but yes you are being unreasonable if you are 29 then in most cases people dont look it. The legal alcohol age is still 18 but checkout assitants have been trained to "think 25". If they think you look under 25 then they have to ask you for ID.

It is very unusual that the checkout assistant would call your own manager to vertify your age :S usually they do not go via word of mouth. It is also up to the checkout person whether they want to sell you the alcohol or not when you dont have ID & if they've asked you for it & you cant provide it then you usually get declined. I think you are being unreasonable because if it was only 4 cans then its not the end of the world you could of gone to another shop on the way home.

And i work in a supermarket as a checkout person & we dont have to put away the shopping there was no spiting her you just spited yourself really....doing all that shopping and walking away empty handed

Last note.... If anyone sells alcohol to a person underage then they get a £5000 fine and their store manager gets a £20,00 fine aswell. Plus the person who sold it goes to court

so the rule is if you dont have any ID then you dont get served

Also how strange for a checkout lady to be so unprofessional in front of her manager & say "nah"

argow Wed 10-Jun-09 04:20:02

grr you've really annoyed me how petty really........why go onto both of my threads and make out that im a troll? how pathetic when you have no proof and its not like my threads were different they were both about the same subject

dont come onto my thread if your just going to cause trouble

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 10-Jun-09 07:24:20


I think as well you met this man when you were very young; you were at that time in your mid teens and had no real life experience behind you. You were not worried at the time about him not working. He took advantage of your naivety.

You can do far better than having a non working and long term weed smoker for a boyfriend. He will just drag you down with him. He sounds both lazy and self centered; he seems as well all too happy for you to carry him. Know you have history together and you will be upset to part but better now than in say a year's time.

Thank goodness there are no children involved.

warthog Wed 10-Jun-09 08:15:24

argow, you've been with him for 2 years, and i understand you feel you've invested a lot in the relationship so don't want to just throw it all away.

but how will you feel in 20 years, or even 60 years with him, and you've supported him all this while?

do you want to waste any more time on this bloke? i'm sure he's very nice, but sounds like you want more.

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