Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

dh is upset with me!! oh dear

(19 Posts)
SlartyBartFast Sun 07-Jun-09 13:35:58

ds wanted to go out for the day yesterday culminating in sleepver, however it is dh's birthday. i asked ds to ask dh, who said, he didnt mind.
the first day out fell through but he went on a different day out, different people, then rung to say could he sleep over at so and so's.

i asked dh who was feeling pissed off anyway, cos we were shoe shopping with dd's... bit stress inducing experience... so dh said he didnt care anymore!

thinking he hadnt minded when the first sleepover was suggested i told ds, yes.

there followed an upset dh and i shouldnt have let ds go!!

bubblagirl Sun 07-Jun-09 13:46:13

well i would pay no attention to be honest if he didnt want him to go he should have just said so but men dont do that do they so ignore it

warthog Sun 07-Jun-09 13:47:04

he should take responsibility! HE SAID HE DIDN'T CARE. that's what happens when you say you don't care. other people do what they want to. tell him to grow up. slap

TrillianAstra Sun 07-Jun-09 13:47:07

If he previously said he didn't mind DS being away on the night of his birthday I don see how you are supposed to know that he has changed his mind.

blinder Sun 07-Jun-09 13:48:59

why is this whole thing your responsibility?

why didn't your DH say what he actually felt at the time, in the shoe shop?

why was the decision entirely yours to make?

what right does DH have to be upset abut something that he has not objected to?

It sounds to me like you are being manipulated through a passive sulk guilt trip.

SlartyBartFast Sun 07-Jun-09 13:50:05

thanks all.
i like those answers. grin
he should grow up, well he has considering it was his birthday! wink

BelfastBloke Sun 07-Jun-09 14:17:01

Bubblagirl: "if he didnt want him to go he should have just said so but men dont do that do they"

MEN don't do that?


TrillianAstra Sun 07-Jun-09 14:25:37

Men don't do that? Actually men are just as capable of answering a question sensibly as women. It's been said a million time,s but if you go about saying 'oh, men are like this' you are allowing them to be like it. Not all men are like this. Plenty of women are. They shouldn't be.

warthog Sun 07-Jun-09 18:46:05

yeah i also hate the whole 'men can't do xyz...' crap.

just like you can't read a map, and you don't have a head for science. there there dear, go put the kettle on would you?

OrmIrian Sun 07-Jun-09 18:51:00

Ahhh I hate hurt thing that some people do when you take them at their word. I don't do telepathy and when there is more than 1 person in a family you can't always put them first and spend the day guessing what they want.

TrillianAstra Sun 07-Jun-09 18:54:44

I can read a map. And I have a PhD in science. And actually DP makes nicer tea than me (not sure if it tastes better jsut because he made it though...) wink

MaggieBee Sun 07-Jun-09 19:00:44

He sounds a baby. If HE thinks it's turned out badly then HE should have made sure it all panned out differently.

SlartyBartFast Sun 07-Jun-09 19:22:15

have told him this and wont back down, though he threatens that on my birthday if dc;s want to go out for the day/evenign, he will let them.

warthog Sun 07-Jun-09 19:23:47

no he won't, because you won't be such a twit as to say you don't care what they do.

TrillianAstra Sun 07-Jun-09 19:26:09


Swedes Sun 07-Jun-09 19:34:32

Why were both of you shopping for girls' shoes? There is no need for group suffering like this. Next time make sure your DH goes on his own with the girls to the shoe shop.

Tell him to say what he means and mean what he says. I thought it was only women who did that huffy, shruggy 'Don't mind' thing?

ahundredtimes Sun 07-Jun-09 19:38:59

I thought it was only women too. Then they go on MN and say AIBU: I just wanted dh to make an effort on my birthday - why did I have to explain this to him?

I reckon it was the shoe shopping that did for him. I'd be horrified if dh took my shopping for dcs shoes on my birthday. It might even make me come over all passive aggressive, which isn't my usual suit.

Swedes Sun 07-Jun-09 20:29:43

<open spreadsheet containing timeline for events surrounding 'Don'tMindGate'>

Ahundredtimes - I think the shoe shopping was the day preceding the accused's birthday.

I'm now convinced this is nothing to do with the sleepover and all to do with turning girls' shoe shopping into a family outing. Were there queues? Were those Clark's waiting tickets involved? Were you No 73?

Quattrocento Sun 07-Jun-09 20:33:18

The very mention of those tickets in Clarks is making me reach for the wine bottle. Your DH must be forgiven all sins while shopping for children's shoes ...

<why did you take him, poor man? The very day before his birthday? Have you NO HEART?>

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: