I REALLY dislike the cats. Should I move out?

[PhatSummer]

I have never been a cat lover but I don't dislike any animal. I'm a dog lover, a guinea pig lover ... I'm just not keen on cats at all.

But I knew DP had two cats when I moved in. As I didn't actually dislike cats, I thought it would be fine.

I have been tolerant. I allow the cats to curl up on my knee and sleep etc ... but I'm really starting to DISLIKE the animals and this is so unlike me.

For a start, they're constantly begging for food. DP just gives in to them all the time which encourages them to sit staring whilst you eat and sometimes they even jump on you and try to 'steal' food ... DP just laughs at them but it really, really annoys me.

They wreck everything. They have pulled holes in two items of my clothing (one of which was special) and my son's school uniform.

They are constantly on our bed. This morning I caught one asleep ON MY PILLOW! horrible, so I stripped the beds, washed all the linen, had the bed all nice and fresh again and guess what I found when I went upstairs? the cat asleep on my fucking pillow again.

Apart from that, they kill birds and leave their corpses scattered all over the garden, they're constantly trying to attack my guinea pigs meaning we have to watch them like hawks when they're in the run outside and today we bought two lovely, baby guinea pigs. The size of hamsters ... all cute, fluffy, nervous, petrified ... I went out to check on them and the ffing cat was on the roof of the hutch trying to pull the wiring off to get inside.

I now admit, I really, really dislike the cats. They're a pain. Today I tried to close the fridge door and one of the cats wouldn't move out of it so I moved it away with my foot (I didn't kick it!) and DP gave me 'a look' as if I was being cruel not wanting the cat crawling all over our food!!

I love DP, but I dislike the cats. It sounds petty but as far as I can see, the only option is for us to move out? or am i being ridiculous?

[FenellaFudge]

At the risk of sounding like a pompous arse, I'd say that if you are going to put your dc through the upheaval of moving in and then back out again then it should be for something a bit more important than the cats.
If you really cant bear them then talk to him and maye he'd be willing to have them rehomed. I'm guessing it's a strong relationship for you to have moved yourself and dc/s in with him? So you have to come before his pets.
But are you sure it's just the cats or are you having doubts in general?

[junglist1]

If its just the cats, I'd say keep trying. My P moved in with a dog, and I was terrified of them before that. When I'd been around her a while, I got to like her, now we've got 2 dogs and 3 little pups running around! I had a cat aswell and there were issues with the dogs chasing her etc, but it's all fine now. Could you start seeing them for their cuteness, like cheeky children, rather than as a harassment? Get some toys and play with them, start feeding them. If they curl up with you it means they like you. If you're an animal lover deep down I reckon you could get to like them, if not love them. You need to work something out about the guinea pigs though. could you make the run more secure?

[avenginggerbil]

Why would you buy baby guinea pigs when you know you've got predatory cats on the premises? That looks like a self-inflicted wound to me.

[warthog]

i think you should tell him how much you hate the cats.

[GypsyMoth]

I hate cats too. But I would try to rubalong with them. I suspect I'd end up feeling like you do.

[piscesmoon]

You knew he had the cats before you moved in. I had a cat when I met DH who hates cats. They both managed to live together for 9 yrs before the cat died. We won't get another but the original one was part of my family-it isn't easy to rehome pets just because they are no longer convenient and luckily DH didn't expect us to.

[Heated]

How old are the cats? It's ridiculous that you have to keep changing the bedding - since it's making additional work for you agree to keep the bedroom door closed & the cats out. And no to feeding at the table - what would guests think? I'd hate it, personally. But re the guinea pigs, the cats are only doing what comes naturally I'm afraid.

[beanieb]

First of all, worm them. They may be asking for food all the time because they have worms.

Second, keep the doors to the bedroom closed.

I have 2 cats and they are allowed in the bedroom in the day but not at night. When I was on my own they slept on the bed with me but I compromised with my OH and agreed to not let them in the bedroom with us at night.

[beanieb]

and I agree with avenginggerbil IMO it was a bit silly to buy new small furry animals!

[crokky]

I sympathise with you PhatSummer - I love animals but I do find the behaviour of cats a bit difficult. My neighbour's cat poos on the border where my DS gets out of the car every other day and it really annoys me. Tea bags and olbas oil have cut the frequency of the pooing, but the olbas oil is costing a fortune! Anyway, I'm having to remove a couple of railings and put grass down there in the hope that this cat will stop it. We are cleaning up someone else's cat's poo 4 times a week which I think is disgraceful and disgusting.

I would keep your bedroom door closed at all times if you don't like the cats in your bed. I would keep clothes either in closed wardrobe/drawers or in covered washing baskets.

How old are the cats and what is their life expectancy? Presumably you are looking at living with DP for the long term - could you put up with a few more years of the cats?

I think you should tell him that the cats are upsetting you, perhaps not using the word "hate" and suggest some ways to help this and ask him if he can suggest anything else.

I find my neighbours' cats (3 of my immediate neighbours have cats) really really annoying and antisocial. I have cats in my garden all the time weeing and pooing etc. I feel for you having to live with them when DP already had them.

Be careful with DP though, you know how much a person can love an animal, I certainly do. I do find it hard to understand why people love cats, but I accept that they do love them and I understand the depth of the love as I love my mum's dog in the same way.

[Hassled]

I absolutely adore cats and have always had them around.

BUT there is no way they sleep on our beds, and no way they get on the table to beg for food. Cats aren't stupid - they can be trained quite easily, and they certainly know what they're not allowed to do. It sounds like your DP has let them get away with murder and you need a new Tough Love policy.

Talk to DP - explain how you're feeling, but tell him the situation is resolveable if you both work together to sort the cats' behaviour out. He is going to have to help.

[duke748]

I too have cats and adore them.

They can do pretty much what they want in my house, except go on kitchen surfaces and kitchen table.

They sleep on my bed, at the foot, but if a man moved in and hated it I would compromise and shut them out of the bedroom. They wouldn't like it, but would soon get used to it.

I agree, cats can be trained. But equally, they are clever, and will do whatever they can get away with!

[FabulousBakerGirl]

It sounds like you bought the baby guinea pigs to make a point. I am assuming you are not 5 so I suggest you talk to your partner and make some suggestions so you can all live together.

Shut the bedroom door.
Make sure the cats have a bed of their own.
Don't feed them from your plates.

I think maybe you should give him a choice - you or the cats and I hope he chooses the cats tbh.

[prettyfly1]

Buying new guinea pigs was a ridiculous idea so thats your own fault HOWEVER your partner is at fault for allowing the cats to attempt to steal food. It is bad pet behaviour, it wouldnt be accepted in a child so it needs to be stopped. Tell your partner that you are happy to learn to like them but you will not tolerate poor hygeine standards. Cats and a. dining areas and b. beds are a no, no in this house. He is being unreasonable to expect you to put up with that. But saying your going to move out becuase of it is utterly ridiculous.

[NeedaNewName]

How would you feel if he chose the cats over you? Devestated - then don;t issue an ultimatum.

The cats were there before you and yes of course you should now be more important but how would you honestly feel if it was the other way around.

Close your bedroom door and make sure he does too. Talk to your DP and stop feeding the cats - you have to make sure he's on your side though, otherwise he may still do it when you'r not looking and that will cause even more resentment. And as someone else suggested try and make friends with them, you may find that they're not all that bad.