OK Bit early on a friday, but phone/text sex

[thesockmonsterofdoom]

DH and Ihave been having a bit of a rough time lately, he is away for a few days, I wanted to use the time to get my head straight and things back on track.
Anyway it just occured to me thast I could send him some saucy texts this evening while he is out with his mates.
Only thing is I have never done that, I am very very far froma prude but wouldnt really be sure how to start it off IYSWIM.
Does anyone actually really do this or is it just a bit silly.

[thesockmonsterofdoom]

hadnt even thought of that.

[Stretch]

Mmmm, I tried this once, sending messages to the house landline from my mobile.
Only I was on auto-pilot and sent it to my mum!!
She, of course, thought it was hilarious and told everyone!!
Not to mention the fact it reads the message out in a robot voice!!!

I daren't now!

[SueMunch]

Nonsense! Just send them - it will put a smile on his face.

Maybe hold back on photos though!

[Castiel]

"was just sitting here thinking about [insert sexy shared memory of choice]..." is a good opener.

Will you be using txt speak? Don't worry about them being read by anybody, they won't unless you type 'I'm fantasising about you dressed as Guy Fawkes blowing up Gordon Brown and co'. I mean each to their own but you may want to avoid it.

[hockeypuck]

I ONLY ever do this to DH when he is out with the boys- it makes sure he is back super early from his night ou - he races home no doubt thinking FINALLY!! (sometimes he even brings chocolate - he likes to reward good behaviour)

[Castiel]

Friend once accidentally received an utterly pornographic text from her Dad. And it wasn't meant for her Mum either. and

[Stretch]

Now that's bad Castiel

[twoclimbingboys]

Send it - I quite regularly send my husband filth! Start with something like 'when you get in I want ...'

[lostinthecitylover]

yes I have had paranoid moments where I have imagined spotty youth in call centre reading my dirty txts

[Swedes]

Wouldn't it be much nicer to just send him a text telling him you miss him, wish you could erase all the bad times or something like that? Something that is more you? I would think DP had gone stark raving mad if he started texting N O R W I C H to me.

[AnyFucker]

n o r w i c h ??????????

[thesockmonsterofdoom]

glad someone else asked that, I wondered if I was missing something.

[Swedes]

Norwich
An acronym of the phrase "'(K)Nickers off, ready when I come home". As used in the BBC Radio show "Just a Minute" in 1979
"Queen Victoria wore her knickers in Sandringham, which gave rise to the word NORWICH, standing for "'Nickers off ready when I come home"

[TrillianAstra]

?

[spookycharlotte121]

Ooooh send it. I loved sending my ex naughty txts when we were together.

He will love it!

[TrillianAstra]

Is he away all weekend? If so might be a bit frustrating to send him a text now. Or has he been away and is due back tonight?

[thesockmonsterofdoom]

he has just gone today, back monday, hardly seen him all week as I have been out and being a bit of a twat tbh. He lost his job about 6 weeks ago and i am getting really irratable even though he is just trying really hard to fit in. I am missing my space but that is not his fault.

[TrillianAstra]

I suppose in that case it should be nice soppy 'thinking of you, sorry for being a twat' tonight and then 'guess what I'm going to do when you get home?' on Monday?

[BelfastBloke]

We (not just me . . .) use N O R W I C H.

[Fizzfiend]

Intrigued at the reference to terrorism...do those texts really get diverted to terrorism office? Or am I on Candid Camera?

[Swedes]

Yes the terrorism thing does sound a bit far fetched. What on earth would you have to say in order to be referred to the anti terrorism squad? I suppose I can see that with predictive text 'I want to explode in your mouth' could become 'I want to explode in your aeroplane' .

[thesockmonsterofdoom]

I chickened out anyway, sent him a mushy love you text, he hasntr replied.

[TrillianAstra]

If he's somewhere loud he probably hasn't heard it. Or he has read it and thought 'that's nice, I'll text her later'. No need to read anything into it.

[shhhh]

Gosh, I wish if I sent dh a saucy text while he was on a night out it would mean him rushing home .

I can honestly say that although dh is forever on about sex and claims to never get it often , even if I text to say come home early the booze would win....

He would come home at 5am still expecting the "text" to still stand..

If only.................