Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How much sex is normal???[blush]

(23 Posts)
foxd Sun 08-May-05 19:48:07

Since having the kids my sex drive has completely gone. I am embarassedto say this but I don't actually remember the last time me and dh had sex sometime a few months ago. He has brought it up with me a number of times and I never know what to say. Its not that I dont want sex but i can think of better things to do with my time like sleep or watch a good movie with lots of chocs and ice-cream. I do feel its gone on too long now and that I certainly need to remind myself how good sex can be. I appreciate it personal but I do wonder though how much sex is normal???

blueteddy Sun 08-May-05 19:59:07

You sound exactually like me!
My DH is getting a bit of a complex because he can't remember the last time we did it & thinks I don't love him any more!
Like you, all I assosiate my bed with is sleeping, as I am constantly tired!
I can't remember the last time we did the deed, but it was well over a month ago!
It is never much more than once a month at the best of times though!
It has definitely got worse since having my 2 ds's (aged 5 & 2) as I am always tired out!

Tommy Sun 08-May-05 20:41:34

Well we're abnormal as well then!!!
Bed = sleep for me
I'm sure it's very normal once the babies once along

sallystrawberry Sun 08-May-05 20:43:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueteddy Sun 08-May-05 20:58:45

I told my DH not to take it personally & that it is because he always tries his luck when I am very tired & wanting my sleep!
Don't know when would be a good time 4 him 2 try though, as I'm ALWAYS tired!!!

MrsBigD Sun 08-May-05 20:59:05

sex? what's that
My sex drive has diminished terribly since babe no. 2. I think tiredness is an absolute libido killer and in my case I'm on ad's as well so forget it! Never thought that it'd happen to me having been a nympho in my previous life!

As with Tommy... bed = sleep

dh is trying to get amourous occasionally but I just get ticklish and that sort of spoils things. Oh and there's the ... don't wake the kids!

jessicasmummy Sun 08-May-05 21:02:45

me and dh had a fantastic sex life - then jess happened!

we averaged about once a week if he was lucky, but since ive been pg again, its shot up - shame he's away from sunday - friday at the moment - roll on friday!!!!!

blueteddy Sun 08-May-05 21:05:18

Once a week is LOADS!!!!

kama Sun 08-May-05 21:33:59

Message withdrawn

Janh Sun 08-May-05 21:36:29

If there is any chance somebody (eg grandparents?) could take kids away for a couple of hours, during the day, at the weekend, grab it...

foxd Sun 08-May-05 21:40:33

Thanks I just feel were too comfortable with each other and I fancy a bit of passion. Unfortunately somethng dh has completely forgotten about. Tried to broach that topic once and i think his ego was a little bruised. What is it with men and egos??

elibelly Sun 08-May-05 21:40:40

strangely it's my dh's sex drive that has vanished since we had ds (our second child) I'm up for it but rarely get the opportunity as he's either too tired or too busy or just plain asleep! no idea what's normal though everyone seems different

foxd Sun 08-May-05 21:52:59

Ive been watching all these food programs were all the evidence points to the connection between food and mood. I think its zinc or something thats for sex drive. Does anyone know what foods contain high levels of zinc??

fairycakes Sun 08-May-05 21:59:47

someone suggested st johns wort to me - i have only been taking it a week, but i think its starting to work

have got 8 month old dd - we have done it about 5 times since she was born and i (shamefully admit) i had to be drunk each time. people say they are too tired when they have had a baby, but in my case, i have completely lost my sex drive and just dont want it - even when dp tries it on, i push him away. i feel awful and he hasnt complained he says he understands, but i just dont feel like it and i dont even feel like i could put up with it for his sake sometimes, how bad is that.

but i think its completely normal after talking to friends who have chldren, so i wouldnt worry, but if you are worried maybe see your gp see if there is nayhitng you can take (ie st johns wort) to help?

aargh Sun 08-May-05 22:24:11

Oh how I wish it was more often! before the children dh wanted it more than me, now its the other way round. Daytime is good as neither are too tired, wait till babies in bed distract older ones.......

biglips Sun 08-May-05 22:30:46

usually we have it once a week since baba was born, but sometimes we both can go without it for 2- 3 weeks, it depends, but dp is happy with his sock !!!!

foxd Sun 08-May-05 22:38:29

Dare I ask sock???

biglips Sun 08-May-05 22:39:27

yeah i know !!! (when im not there with him)

anonymouschap Sun 08-May-05 22:49:12

Strawberries have lots of zinc in them.

foxd Sun 08-May-05 22:53:36

ohhh!!! (sock)
Strawberrys will def try them

QueenEagle Sun 08-May-05 23:09:50

Kama's post was spot on. Whatever is right for both of you - that's the right amount. Comparing to other people will always make you feel as if you should be doing it less/more. And kissing/cuddling/talking can be as important and sometimes as good depending, on circumstances.

me and dh go in phases as he works 4 day shifts. So when he's working we fool about but don't always end up having full sex - that could happen for a week or so if we are tired or have a lot going on, but then on his days off it might be every day. Unusual for us to go more than 2 weeks though.

haven Thu 12-May-05 22:18:53

dh and i swap roles...for a while it was him...work work work stress stress stress no bootie no bootie no bootie...i ws sooo depressed and felt sooo funky...then ds came along....HA HA HA...we will try to flirt a lil when he gets home if the children haven't destroyed my mind my the end of the day...but by the time the children or in bed it's like "i hope he goes to sleep" i look at the bed and think about how wonderful it will be to get to sleep tonight!!!
We just keep telling each other when the baby gets a lil bigger it won't be sooo bad....

Frizbe Thu 12-May-05 22:21:35

We always try for at least once a week, and have been getting back on track recently as much as 3 times a week, now that dd is old enough (and we're trying for another!) but for dd's 1st year, once a week was lucky, both too knack'd

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now