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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Just thinking out loud

26 replies

FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 15:41

Me - low at the moment.
DH - I am guessing is fed up and worried.
DS1 - rude, picking on his siblings, stroppy, probably fed up and sad too.
DD - not too bad, bit cheeky.
DS2 - I wuv you mummy.

I am not sure what comes first. Kids/DH get to me so I want out. But is it because I am not happy being a wife and mum and they are picking up on it?

Leaving is not an option. Want to be happy again. When I told DH I was worried we wouldn't be as happy again as we used to be he said I spend too much time on here. TBH I think I would be worse without MN.

OP posts:

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mrsmaidamess · 31/05/2009 15:42

In my house the general mood seems to be dictated by MY mood.

Could you have a break for a while/stay with a friend/family/night away by yourself.

I love everyone MUCH more when we're not on top of each other all the time.

FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 15:44

I just don't know how to deal with DS1 as everything is so mixed up. Anytime I want alone time on the weekend I can have it but then I don't see DH and he is sad we don't have time all together.

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mrsmaidamess · 31/05/2009 15:44

What is mixed up?

FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 15:48

My head.

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GypsyMoth · 31/05/2009 15:52

How old is ds 1? Is he bored maybe? Had too much sun?

FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 15:53

8

Had lovely day to the beach yesterday. Wanted quiet day today as back to school tme so in apart from trip to Homebase. They can't seem to enterntain themselves without tv, computer or fighting.And I would rather hide in the kitchen cooking and baking than do anything with them.

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mrsmaidamess · 31/05/2009 15:55

They sound like my kids. It all kicks off if they are not getting attention. Which is hard if you are feeling tired and low.

makipuppy · 31/05/2009 15:59

You sound kind, intelligent and loving, yet everything is getting on top of you. Randomly (and perhaps unwelcomely) I suggest you do something that takes you away for a week (if possible). I have just walked a bit of this. It cost almost nothing and you need no company other than people who walk at the same pace.

Very random, FBG, I know, but mrsm above is absolutely right, you can't sort it out when you're this far inside it.

GypsyMoth · 31/05/2009 15:59

Just thrown my lot outside to clean my car......good fun and I'll surprise them all with the hose in a minute!!! Maybe you need a good laugh, some fun with your kids?

mrsmaidamess · 31/05/2009 16:02

FBG do something positive. Switch off the PC. Gather everyione up (yes they will moan, but tough shit)

Go out for a walk. Get an icecream, I don't know, just something little you can all do together.

Then when you come back and they flop in front of the telly or PC at least they've been out and it won't bug you as much. Things are never as bad out of doors.

Your own feelings of helplessness and apathy will not disappear of their own accord, you have to do something to help.

FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 16:03

Fun? I vaguely remember that.

I kind of know what is wrong and need to find a way to stop letting it get to me so much. Talking and thinking about it makes it worse so I need mind clearing things which work in any situation.

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mrsmaidamess · 31/05/2009 16:05

GO OUT. Stop stewing in front of computer. Go on, shoo!

FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 16:05

Can't go out as dinner ready in half an hour but yes, I need to get myself out of this mood. If only I could just snap out of it..

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StealthPolarBear · 31/05/2009 16:07

I agree with long walk, ice cream and then TV. (as you can tell, I'm taking my own advice )
Can anyone have the DCs while you and DH go for a meal next weekend?

GossipMonger · 31/05/2009 16:08

I agree with MrsM!

turn off the computer.

Go for a walk with the children and take a football. run round the park, roll down hills, go a bit crazy.......the kids will think you are mad but might join in.

Take a rug and some drinks and relax and have fun with your family.

Walk to a local pub and have half a pint of shandy and some crisps.

That is where DH and the boys are. I am feeling a bit ill so am in bed but the boys have cycled there and are very excited about it.

StealthPolarBear · 31/05/2009 16:08

OK can you chuck them in the garden? Do yu have a sandpit / paddling pool? Erm..is 8 a bit old for that, no idea, sorry!

FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 16:08

DD and DS2 came to show me them having a lovely cuddle - all smiles and giggled. What the hell is wrong with me? I have everything I ever wanted and everything I need.

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mrsmaidamess · 31/05/2009 16:09

I bet it passes.

I have these down times too. Evrything feels like it's getting on top of me, 3 kids, demands of work, trying to be Mrs Bloody Perfect all the time.

They don't last forever but make me feel so crap while I have them. I sometimes open up to a friend or dh and then they gradually lift.

But remember you won't feel like this forever. 'Ride it out' and I bet/hope you feel brighter tomorrow.

GossipMonger · 31/05/2009 16:09

OK, dont go out.

Get a rug in the garden and play a game of cards with the children. Drinks and snacks outside as a treat before dinner.

FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 16:10

I appreciate all your ideas but honestly, dinner is in the oven and is ready in half an hour.

I am going to get myself orgnised with ideas for things to do. The house will never be done so I might as well leave it and have fun with the kids.

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StealthPolarBear · 31/05/2009 16:12

Do you always feel like this? Did you feel like this last weekend? If it's rare I'd put it down to a bad day and work on wearing them out so they go to bed early like I do.
Oops did I say that out loud?

mrsmaidamess · 31/05/2009 16:12

We played a really funny game round the dinner table the other night which cheered us all up.

You take it in turns to say 'Who's the best joke teller?' or 'Who's got the cheesiest feet?' and everyone points to who they think.

You can even point to yourself. (For who's the best at everything!)

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FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 16:13

Weekends can be low times for me but it was seeing something yesterday that reminded me of past hurt that as set me back today.

Kids will be early to bed tonight as school tomorrow.

I just let things get to me too much.

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FabulousBakerGirl · 31/05/2009 16:14

The kids would say I was the best mum and best cook

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makipuppy · 31/05/2009 16:20

You're not 'just' the best mum though! You're the FabulousBakerGirl! Wishing you a much better day tomorrow...

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