ok so i do still have feelings for this guy i feel that we were soulmates i havent told dh i am in contact with him i wouldnt tell dh i was meeting with him i geuss the meeting up would be to see if we still feel the same as we did
Would also call it emotional cheating; work on what is missing within your own marriage instead. Take a good look at your behaviour too as well as your H's.
Never a good idea to meet the ex; also you have no real reason to do so. Ex's are ex's often for good reason; you need to take the rose tinted specs of nostalgia off. That relationship should stay in the past; if you open that box it can be very difficult to close it again. Be careful what you wish for.
thanks for all your advice im finding it hard to stop thinking about him things with me and dh are not good ,we go for months with out sex up to 6 months at a time,we never kiss,we have absolutly nothing in common . he has hurt me in lots of way one of which was bankrupcy ,too many things to go into i think i only stay for the kids
at the same time this ex isnt in to kids and that doesnt sit well with me . today he has given me his mobile number although i have not given mine im in such a quandry do i want to be in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life ??
we had a silly argument and i went straight from ex to dh ,my fault of course but ex didnt try and win me back i do realise in reality it wouldnt be all hearts and flowers but im wondering what if ? ive never felt my dh is my soulmate it was more of i knew he would take care of me and i wanted childern badly and so did he we are more like brother and sister and i dont think i have ever found him sexually aattractive
two, should you end your marriage if it is loveless.
Sounds like your ex getting in touch has brought to the surface your feelings about your marriage. He does not sound like a good prospect, and would imo be at best a distration, at worst blow your whole world apart if you start a relationship with him whilst still married.
As mrsboogie said, you need to sort out your marriage first, otherwise this ex could bring it crashing down around you.
sorry to sound negative.
Whatever happens, i dont think you should contact your ex. if your marriage doesnt work out, you will be a single mom with the kids - and your ex doesn;t want any. spells trouble you could well do without. So trust your gut, you said it doesnt sit well with you so, leave well alone and instead, have some time out to really think about your marriage and if you would be happier on your own with the kids.
and no one ever wants to be in a loveless marriage.
You don't need to be in a loveless marriage. There might be solutions out there that can help you repair your marriage and on the other hand you could break up, only you know what is best for you.
The solution isn't to meet someone else whilst still in the marriage though. It will more than likely give you much more stress than you have at the moment. And ok, yes it might be the type of thing that could make you feel great.....but only for a short period until feelings get in the way and by that time it is too late, you'd be in it up to your eyeballs.
how can our marriage be repaired? i have huge trust issues with him regarding money i dont fancy him a little bit at times he repulses me i go blue in the face to take more care with his personal hygiene my family dont really like him they always liked my ex more
i have never ever even looked at another guy and my dh as far as i know has never cheated on me and i know he would be very upset if he found out we were talking.
Can you bring yourself to try to communicate all this to him? Yes, he will be upset, but the fact is that this is an upsetting situation. It's going to be very difficult, but with the greatest respect, the only way through this is to talk to him about it.
Have you thought about/tried marriage counselling?
hi messymissy thanks for checking back with me im ok i asked ex what his intentions were towards me and i feel you were all right he wouldnt entertain the idea of my kids they are/look too much like their dad etc he still wants to meet with me but only wants to be friends i guess i was just day dreaming for a better life still thinking of him lots though <sad cow emoticon>