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I'm feeling really sorry for Dp.

(13 Posts)
Flossam Fri 06-May-05 16:56:03

His parents are coming down to help us move. I've posted before about how they just don't seem interested. His sister had a baby a couple of months ago, and the focus has rightly been on her since xmas. But they haven't seen my DS now since he was 4 weeks old. He is 6 months on Sunday. DP has tried to get us to go and see them countless times and one way or another has always been rebuffed. He hasn't met his nephew yet. They are coming down this evening, to stay one night in a hotel, moving us in in the morning and then leaving that afternoon.

The reason I feel sorry for him? (if the above isn't reason enough IMO) is because he has been trying to be so organised and efficient at packing and organising, like he has been trying to impress (not me obviously .) He is now having a shave (rare) and a shower and has been ransacking his packed clothes for something to wear. They were supposed to ring when they left, the journey takes about 3 hours. No word yet, I don't even think we will see them this evening.

TrophyWife Fri 06-May-05 16:58:04

ahh poor bloke. hope your move goes well and you get in the new house ok.

starlover Fri 06-May-05 17:01:06

awww, that really sucks
I feel sorry for him now as well!

My dp's parents are a bit odd like that too, they do live a long way away (about 5 hr drive), and when DS was born they said they'd come up and visit.
They came up on Saturday afternoon, and left Sunday.

This is their first grandchild! Haven't seen them since and DS is now 12 weeks!

Flossam Fri 06-May-05 17:05:04

Sure enough, just text to say they are leaving now. They were supposed to leave 2 hours ago.

Flossam Fri 06-May-05 17:24:30

And they won't be coming over. We will just see them whilest we are moving. They refuse to drive in the dark, so will be gone by mid afternoon. I'm really fuming now.

starlover Fri 06-May-05 17:31:36

i hope your dp tells them they suck!

Our latest thing is that we're having a naming day for DS. DP rang his parents to see what date suits them, suggesting the 26 JUne. They're free that day so far, but may not be able to come if his dad suddenly gets some work!
Dp told them they have to come, and just to not book any work for that day. And they refused!!!

sunchowder Fri 06-May-05 17:43:32

Sorry to hear this Flossam. Try to find any brightness you can in the situation (they will at least help you move). I understand how upset you must be, but try your best not to be angry if you are able. I am sure his parents are not intentionally trying to hurt you or your DH (I don't know the entire situation to even comment on this though). Sometimes people can be incredibly self-centered--who knows what really makes them tick, you know what I mean? Be the best that you can be for your DP and your DS and take lots of deep breaths, they both need your love and support and approval alot more than they need DP's parents support and approval at this point in time. All the best Flossam on the move.

Flossam Fri 06-May-05 17:54:16

We've had a chat and decided that we won't be like that with our DS when he is grown up!! It's nice to hear that from him. He loves DS so much, he is so proud and he has been dying to show him off for so long!

fireflyfairy2 Fri 06-May-05 17:58:58

Id tell them that you no longer need them to help...

Sorry, I hate this, my in-laws are the exact same. We have 2 kids, their inly grandchildren, and my SIL is having probs conceiving, MIL always trys to make me feel guilty... but there no way in hell im going to apologise for birthing 2 beautiful of each sex

Your DP prob feels like a child again, looking for some attention from his parents, and their approval. Id let him know that he doesnt need it, he has you and your DS and thats all the family he needs

Flossam Fri 06-May-05 18:04:59

I am tempted tbh. But DP is doing his driving at the moment, not passed yet, neither I nor his brother drive, so we need their help (to drive the van we have hired). My brother is in Bristol and would have helped, but it is too late notice now. As silly as it sounds I'm hoping they will see DS and realise just how much they have missed of our lovely little boy. DP is very loyal and loves them very much so he would never agree to cutting them out, and I wouldn't want him to unless that was what he wanted.

fireflyfairy2 Fri 06-May-05 19:01:29

No, i didnt mean cut them out, just let them see you are not dependant on them...

My MIL gets really pissed off if i say we have been such a place and some woman looked at DS or DD.. jealous, yet she never has time for them either...

I hope you are right, and once they see their grandchild they'll realise what they're missing

Flossam Fri 06-May-05 19:20:59

Now they are refusing to come round as early as we had planned. We were told to pick the van up at 9, but thats too early for them. FFS. Never again.

starlover Sat 07-May-05 09:34:35

oh Flossam! I really think your DP should have words with them! Why is 9 too early???????

I really do feel for you, because I see what it's like for DP when his parents do similar things.

I hope the rest of your day goes ok, and good luck with the move!

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