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Men don't listen

(25 Posts)
Heleen Wed 04-May-05 19:25:41

I know it is an old subject, but don't you all find it totally annoying that men just do not listen. It drives me wild and can make me very short tempered and angry (rude) at times.
What mostly irritates me is the disrespect for MY energie! I try to say something or sort something out and he doesn't even listen. Why bother I think often!

cellogirl Wed 04-May-05 19:29:07

I know how you feel. I sit there sometimes talking til I am blue in the face, and I might as well be talking to a brick wall.

Sample conversation;
Me: "I saw John in the supermarket today. He sends his love"
DP: "Ugg"

Minutes elapse

DP"We havent seen John for ages have we?"!

It drives me up the bloody wall. He also never does what I ask him to, which drives me to distraction, especially as I dont ask very often.


cellogirl Wed 04-May-05 19:30:01

Although it has taken me a while to realise I should NEVER speak to him when there is sport on

LGJ Wed 04-May-05 19:33:01

Mine almost turned up at soft play party a week early to collect DS. Why ?? becaue he wasn't listening.

Shame I was listening, it would have taken him weeks to live that one down.

fuzzywuzzy Wed 04-May-05 19:35:09

I think it's a male trait, men can't do more than one thing at a time, eg I talk to my dp when we're sat together eating, and he appears to be incapable of both eating and listening at the same time.
A conversation dp and I had;
'you know there's a bird in the garden which makes a sound like a phone ringing'
dp 'hmm'
me'yeah, I've been running indoors thinking the phones ringing whilst out hanging the washing, I've only just realised'
Dp 'uh huh'
A week later; Dp 'Darling there's a bird in the garden which sounds just like the ring tone of our phone...'
Me 'Hmph'

Heleen Wed 04-May-05 19:37:37

Apparently there are books about this that explain. But to be frank, I don't give a sh*t why they do not listen. Knowing why doesn't change the fact that it happens all the time. I just do object to the 'totally not being tuned in' part of it. What mine also does is make decisions without telling me and then is surprised when I have objections. He thinks I am a bloody mindreader or something. And when the opposite happens (I decide on something without informing him) the sh*t hits the fan.

anonymouschap Wed 04-May-05 19:48:16

have you noticed that men don't listen sometimes?


Satine Wed 04-May-05 19:53:22

Sadly my dh was brought up by a mother who never ever stopped talking - she was quite famous for it - (his dad once shouted "Well I can't be expected to listen to everything you say!" at her ) so dh has the 'tuning out' skill to a black belt standard. What really makes my blood boil is that he won't admit that he does it - he often accuses me of not telling him things. I usually reply "What's more likely - that I didn't tell you or that you didn't listen?"

Heleen Wed 04-May-05 19:53:54

Very funny, you must be of the male sex.

anonymouschap Wed 04-May-05 23:16:32

i killed this thread, right?

sandy25 Wed 04-May-05 23:46:38

I love the conversation that goes...
dp; "am going to put that new car part thingy (insert whichever car part thingy ya want...we have all of them ) in the shed ok?
Me; what car part thingy?
dp; you know the one i told you i was buying?
me; huh?
dp; oh yeah thats right it was my best mate daniel that i told i was getting that...oops...

I mean how the hell do you mistake me who is quite obviously female for daniel who is definatly male???? i will never understand men....

oh and its not that they dont listen, its that they have bad hearing or you spoke to fast or too much or not enough or he has a bad memory and forgot wat u said.... in 10 seconds....anthing but admitting I wasn't listening

HappyDaddy Thu 05-May-05 08:30:58

Maybe we'd listen more, if you had something interesting to say...

Now, where's my tin hat?

Potty1 Thu 05-May-05 08:40:36


starshaker Thu 05-May-05 08:46:22

our conversation goes like this

me - can u put coal on the fire please
dp - ok in a min
10 mins later
me - u getting coal yet
dp - yeah 2 secs wait till this bit is finnished
5 mins later
me - kenny
dp - im going
20 mins later hes ready for bed
me - what about the coal
dp - u should have said before i got changed i cant go out like this
me in a huff hand him dd tell him to wind her go get coal and shes sick all over him. Justice

DillyDally Thu 05-May-05 08:46:51

How can happydaddy say that when he is a permanent fixture on a womens website?

hypocrisy is the greatest luxury....

HappyDaddy Thu 05-May-05 09:15:32

Sorry, did you say something?

TrophyWife Thu 05-May-05 09:20:02

when i told dh that my waters had broken, he was on the pc, his reply was " thats nice dear", then about 2 minutes later i got "what". just proving the point that men never listen

HappyDaddy Thu 05-May-05 09:21:33

When I ask DW something she says, "yes". Then a couple of minutes later will say, "what?". Hmmm

starshaker Thu 05-May-05 09:22:33

i used to do that if i was talking to dp and he wasnt listening id say im in labour or my waters have broken and it would take about 5 mins for him to say what did u just say

Potty1 Thu 05-May-05 09:29:39

HappyDaddy - perhaps that's because you don't have anything interesting to say

robin3 Thu 05-May-05 09:41:04

We could all apply the same tips as there are in that book 'How to talk so kids listen' or something similar.
Big roll of blank wallpaper and write your words with a marker so 'YOU NEED TO BE HOME EARLY TODAY' and then tape it to the shaving mirror.

KVG Thu 05-May-05 09:54:51

Message withdrawn

Heleen Thu 05-May-05 17:58:07

Good question KVG, it really makes you think how all these men with their how powered job actually manage to get anything done. And how odd it is, to say the least, that all these capabilities stop the moment they put a foot over the doorstep.

Piggiesmum Thu 05-May-05 22:41:16

Oh yeah, we have those converstaions where I say something and get a "mmm" response, then 10 minutes later get told the exact same thing I told him.
When I say "I just said that 10 minutes ago!!!" he'll say "Did you?". I think they do register what we say but on a sub-consious level, it then takes 10 minutes for the thought to wriggle it's way to the consious brain at which point they think it's their own original thought.

pleaserewind Mon 09-May-05 11:34:15

i'd be happy with the hmmmm response. If dh is on the pc or whatever he doesn't even respond with that sometimes...just silence.

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