.....with me. I am 24 weeks today with our 1st child and since we found out I was pregnant (at 7wks) he has refused to have sex with me. Initally he said it was bcos he was scared of harming me/the baby but after some 'digging' it seems he feels it is morally wrong.
Our sex life was great before and he certainly isnt prudish! But I am now taking it personally, it is really harming my confidence and I feel quite insecure. We have fallen out about it many times, but it seems he cant have sex with me or do anything sexual until after the birth.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Should I just shut and put up and respect the well he feels?
Lots of men get like this. My DP said he felt funny about sex when he could feel the baby move, so our sex life dwindled a bit in the later stages (unfortunate really cos I was gagging for it most of the time). Picked up afterwards tho!
We also didn't do the business for the whole 9 months, and I don't think we will this time either. However, we did other stuff which didn't involve him hanging out with the baby, as it were. Is that possible?
I think you should probably give it a rest then, as long as everything else is the same. Arguing about it certainly won't help. Maybe a nice cuddle? I totally went off sex after both births... it took well over a year before I could even think about enjoying sex. I just gritted my teeth & hoped it would be over quickly. Could you talk about it? Tell him it makes you feel insecure?
Yes I reckon sansouci is right - just try to be as physical as possible i.e. cuddle up to him in bed etc. If he feels that badly it might be some time after the birth before he feels ok about sex again - dripping with milk is not v. sexy.
I'd recommend a convenient hand-held battery-operated substitute for you in the meantime!
My DH was the same - it was a mental thing for him, not a physical attraction thing. I would respect his wishes - if it were the other way round I'm sure everyone would expect you to do the same for him. Just enjoy loads of cuddles.