Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

OMG I dont believe this - I'M the other woman [angry]

(237 Posts)
TwuckingFunt Sat 04-Apr-09 18:48:31

Well that's it really. Just found out via facebook of all places, that my lovely, caring, generous, gorgeous (d)p of nearly a year is living with somebody sad angry

Don't want to go into too much detail about how I found out just in case his poor gf is an MNer. I am a regular btw but namechanged for obvious reasons.

I have just been physically sick and really can't believe it. It's like a nightmare, I want to kill him.

How could he do this to me? How could he do this to her?

I know you will probably ask how I didnt notice anything but I really didnt. He lives about 60 miles away but works around the corner from me and because of my DC, it was always easier for me if he came here instead of traipsing all the way up to his. He used to stay at mine a few times a week, we had weekends away together, he would ring me from home, text me all the time, spend weekends shopping, cinema etc. with me.

I feel so stupid, betrayed, hurt and angry. Please don't flame me, I feel bad enough as it is, I can honestly say there were no major warning signs. Because of my abusive, cheating XP, I'm quite an insecure person anyway so any niggling little doubts were always pushed to the back of my mind because I thought it was just my insecurities sad

Anyway, just wanted to write it all down. I have to try and keep it together for the DC but inside I'm destroyed sad

SobranieCocktail Sat 04-Apr-09 18:50:13

You POOR thing sad. What an utter utter arse to have done this to you and his GF.

HecAteTheEasterBunny Sat 04-Apr-09 18:50:46

Oh you poor thing. sad does he know that you know?

PlumBumMum Sat 04-Apr-09 18:52:16

Does he know you know yet?

sad for you thats awful

themoon66 Sat 04-Apr-09 18:52:38

Are you sure that the person he is living with is a DP or DW and not just a housemate?

<<hopes for you>>

PlumBumMum Sat 04-Apr-09 18:52:55

xpost Hecate sorry (i'm either slow reader or typer

Portoeufino Sat 04-Apr-09 18:53:29

Another hole under that patio needed I think! What a prize bstrd! Have you spoken to him yet to get an explanation?

TwuckingFunt Sat 04-Apr-09 18:58:08

He's away this weekend 'working' hmm but I have just text him saying 'who is X? anything you wanna tell me'

No reply yet, it was photographs I saw so I'm pretty sure she's a gf/wife yes sad

Will wait and see what he replies with, tbh I never thought about it being a housemate (probably my insecurities again!). <clutches at same straws>

TwuckingFunt Sat 04-Apr-09 18:59:35


Ivykaty44 Sat 04-Apr-09 19:00:41

I would have thought you would know if he had a housemate - not really something you would need to keep secret is it, oh y the way I have a lodger or I share a house with such and such and have done for a long time.sad

Silly prat...facebook is a danger zone for letting the cat out the bag sad

Simplysally Sat 04-Apr-09 19:02:15

Can you email the other person and ask?

oxocube Sat 04-Apr-09 19:05:48

Why would the OP do that though SimplySally? Its bad enough that her life has been turned upside down without upsetting another innocent party

Gorionine Sat 04-Apr-09 19:06:02

How awful for you!

Gorionine Sat 04-Apr-09 19:06:35

And the wife/girlfriend as well BTW>

TwuckingFunt Sat 04-Apr-09 19:07:53

I'm awaiting his reply before I do anything. If he replies that is, he may just disappear now I guess sad

BitOfFunnyBunny Sat 04-Apr-09 19:11:15

Sorry mate, that's really shit for you < passes cast-iron frying pan >

Simplysally Sat 04-Apr-09 19:13:46

True but there might be a way of wording it without sounding like a nutter or marriage-breaker.

Horrid situation .

Kally Sat 04-Apr-09 19:14:35

What a scumbag. Poor you, don't take this as a reflection of your inability to 'see the signs' as he was working hard, obviously, to conceal them, leaving you little chance.

A year is a long time and it probably hurts like hell. Just pick yourself up off the floor and kick it to the curb if you can. Move on, don't waste time trying to find some sense out of it all, as there is none to be had... He just wanted a bit on the side and managed to do it for a while.

What are these horrible men thinking of when they do that? Honestly...

TrillianEAstraEgg Sat 04-Apr-09 19:16:29


<a slightly smaller frying pan for you left hand, get the bastard from both sides>

TwuckingFunt Sat 04-Apr-09 19:21:15

He just replied to me "why you ask that babe?" I've tried ringing him but he won't answer.

I've replied back "because I found some stuff on facebook, strange that isn't it seeing as you don't even have an account" (thats what he told me on numerous occassions)

Why wont he answer the fucking phone? angry

TwuckingFunt Sat 04-Apr-09 19:24:36

He obviously has worked hard, I agree.

How on earth did his gf not catch him? Where did he say he was all those nights he was with me? How could he get away with ringing/texting me from home? Why did he come shopping, for meals etc with me when anybody could've spotted us?

So many questions, none of this makes sense

piratecat Sat 04-Apr-09 19:33:03

without having to reveal too much , how do you know he is living with someone?

sorry you are going thru this sad

TwuckingFunt Sat 04-Apr-09 19:36:05

From photographs and the comments underneath them sad

themoon66 Sat 04-Apr-09 19:37:40

Makes sense now why he's not answering your calls. Phone on silent coz he's with her.

So sorry for you sad

mrsboogie Sat 04-Apr-09 19:39:08

could she not be an ex? have you actually got accepted onto face book account?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: