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Am i eligible for the Housing association??

(21 Posts)
Clare1406 Thu 21-Apr-05 10:21:08

Can any one help, last night DH & I decided to split.DH siad he still loves me, but can't live with me, coz all i do is moan at him.
We haven't spoken for nearly 3 weeeks now, he says its making him ill. Not feeling too hot myself. Lost half a stone in ths last 2 weeks.
Won't bore you with details, but he doesn't help att all with DS, he's 3.5, i do everything for him, & i now work full time. Because i'm always having to ask him to help out, apparantly its nagging. DS says he doesn't like daddy, won't go near him. Then i get the blame.
Theres other stuff too, got 3 SD's which have made both our lives hell over the past 5 years, their mother's done a good job of sticking the knife in.
Problem is, we live in Northampton, & i want to move back to be nearer my parents in Lincolnshire, i couldn't stay round here.
Can anybody tell me if i get benefits or will i be able to get a house through Housing Association.
Don't know how to deal with this, will have to give up job i love, really scared.
Can't stop crying, taken the rest of this week off.

rickman Thu 21-Apr-05 10:25:40

Message withdrawn

debs26 Thu 21-Apr-05 10:52:54

so sorry clare, sounds like a really miserable time atm. i used to have a housing assoc house, they did not have the same criteria as council housing but i think the actual rules depends on the assoc itself. i am sure that in your situation you wil be eligible for help. i got a list of housing associations from the council housing office, so i would ring them in the area you are planning to move to and ask them to post you one. if you are working you should be able to get tax credits and possibly help with childcare, housing and council tax (depends on what you earn), you need to ring the tax credit helpline and get the forms because it can take several weeks for them to be processed, fill them out asap. if you cant work you should get income support. you local benefits agancy are the best people to call. i really hope you can sort things out for you and ds and you can make life a little happier. it does get easier x

Peachyclair Thu 21-Apr-05 11:08:08

Hi Clare

if I remember rightly, HA's have to accept people out of the area on their lists now, so you should be OK on that, and you are genuinely homeless so you should get a house.

When you get back, will you be able to get another job? Or even do some voluntray work? Keep your skills up.

Of course you will get benefits, you're totally entitled to.

Dont worry about the crying, natural as this is a time of bereavement for you. Give yourself a few days to adjust if you can. And try and put some support in place for when you get away- HomeStart? They can give support for realtuionship breakdown and have a website where youc an check covered areas.

Hope things get better soon, at least you are moving forward, even if it hurts right now.


Clare1406 Thu 21-Apr-05 11:13:29

Thanks Debs, that helps.
Job wise, i know i won't be able to earn the same sort of salary in Lincs. But i don' t care if i have to clean loos, i'll make the best of it for DS sake.
Don't want Mum & Dad to know yet or they'll get really upset, & wouldn't want to live with them, it's not fair.
Its so hard when you want to talk to someone, but you don't want your friends & family to know whats going on. I don't want people taking pity on me.
Thank again.

moschops Thu 21-Apr-05 11:15:59

i'm in lincolnshire........some areas are harder to get housed in than others but get yourself on the HA lists and chase them up.....

get yourself on the lists NOW......i do know they've recently changed the points system and you sound like your circumstances will get you high priority pretty quickly.

as for crying.....well thats to be expected, you're having a pretty rough time of it. have a good cry then put all your energy into getting yourself rehoused and a new can do it and life will get so much better for you!!!

Clare1406 Thu 21-Apr-05 11:18:11

Thanks Peachyclair, that gives me more hope.
I should be able to get job, but don't know if theres much call for Cardboard Box Sales Rep in lincolnshire.
But then DH says i can sell ice to the eskimos, wasn't sure if he meant i talk too much!!

Clare1406 Thu 21-Apr-05 11:20:57

Hi Moschops, are you north or south Lincs?

moschops Thu 21-Apr-05 11:22:50

hi clare

........i'm near skeggy. there are a few lincolnshire MNers but i've not been on here long so haven't met any of them!!!

whereabouts are you thinking of moving to?

Clare1406 Thu 21-Apr-05 11:35:13

Moschops, sorry, gotta go out. Back about 1pm.
But want to go back to Spalding, thats where i'm from.
talk later.

Peachyclair Thu 21-Apr-05 16:50:04

Selling is a transferable skill... maybe I'm wrong, but I would have thought the people contact / success element was more important than the interaction with the boxes per se?

If you enjoy selling etc that much- have you got a degree? Would you like to do one? Or a further qualification? I'm about to go off to Uni, and I know that a few m'nettes are there now- they have nurseries, and it's a built in social life (and you get housing help / access to support services too!!!).

If you want to CAT somebody, feel free to CAT me. I'm no expert, but my last job was as an Organiser for Home Start (in a Sure Start area) so I'm good at finding out, even when I don't know. We used to support a lot of famillies in this situation.

(Lots of careers me- trained as a beauty therapist/nursisng/fundraiser/Organiser/Receptionist plus voluntary work... no attention span).

I've got my fingers crossed for you, but you only have to look around at the amount of people who get through this to know that one day, eventually and when you're ready, you'll be OK.

nutcracker Thu 21-Apr-05 16:55:01

Hiya Clare, because your family live in lincolnshire you we be able to use this as a reason for wanting that area. You need to put on the forms that you are moving to be near them and recieve support from them. This along with the breakdown of your relationship would give you good points.

When i was trying to move there was a website that advertised h/a houses that were available to let. If i remember correctly there were always a few in that area so it might not be that hard to get something.

I'll try and find the site

nutcracker Thu 21-Apr-05 16:56:28

here it is

nutcracker Thu 21-Apr-05 17:01:45

Only seems to be 1 bed flats or bedsits on there at the mo for that area.

You need to decided if you would accept a council property or not. If you would, then apply to them and they will nominate you to all h/a's. If you don't want a council property then just apply to the h/a's yourself.

Literally just ring them up and ask for the forms, then find as much evidence to go with your forms as poss, send them back and then nag them.

Tortington Thu 21-Apr-05 17:44:38

did you buy the house your living in at the moment? selling it and having any profits will affect your benefit income if so - it will definatley affect any housing benefot entitlement. you need to go to citizens advice buraeu to ascertain your financial situation.

kelli22 Thu 21-Apr-05 20:03:44

i live near coventry and as far as i know you have to go on the council lists before HA will accept you- you have to be referred by the council- i've been living in HA for 3 years.

i was private renting before but the landlady evicted me and i had to squat there because i didnt have anywhere else to go until the council reffered me to HA, i had a 2 year old and was 19yrs old at the time.

Hope you get it all sorted out soon.
Have a good cry and when you feel stronger you can get yourself together and start feeling happy and settled

nutcracker Thu 21-Apr-05 20:23:43

Think it may depend on the area Kelly. When i was on the councils list, i couldn't apply myself to any h/a's because the council would nominate you anyway (supposidly). But my friend who didn't want to be rehoused by the council just applied direct to all the h/a's and they all accepted her.

Also the h/a i am with will accept you if you are not on the council list.

Clare1406 Mon 23-May-05 09:47:03

Dear All, thank you for the advice given, sorry i have not responded, DH was accusing me of havin internet affair!!! so haven't been on PC for a while. He has since admitted that he didn't beleive i was, just said it to wind me up!!! Dickhead.
Haven't put my name down as yet, mum & dad giving me grief over the fact you can't just walk away from marriage, & take his son.
I love & fancy Dh to bits & vice versa, & he's started to pull his finger out in terms of helping with everything around house & doin stuff fo DS. I want to be with this man, & want to make this work, just seems to be all the crap that comes between us.
Think our main problems are SD's, the 2 youngest 12 & 16 just aim to make our lives hell,constantly.
But DH has clicked onto this & last week kicked the 16 yr old out & sent her back to her mums. If she doesn't get her own way, she starts screaming, swearin, throwing stuff. She called DH a f*cking c*nt!!!!!! Just because he wouldn't give her her allowance, because she'd called her mum, f*cking council scum!!! This girl is out of control. What the hell do you do with her?
She's a very angry teeenager.

assumedname Mon 23-May-05 09:51:43

If you still love him, what about going to counselling?

Clare1406 Mon 23-May-05 10:08:20

Funnily enough, he has agreed to go.
he doesn't trust many people, his ex-wife had an affair with his best friend, his next girlfriend, was his brothers ex-wife, then he discovered she started to see him again behind his back!!! The ex-wife took his kids away to Cumbria in 1999, & messed their heads up, then she came back when me & him got together, but she made herself homeless, so had to go in a hostel, so the girls lived with us for 4 mths while she waited for a house. We'd only been together for 3 mths, so it was a testing time, as i didn't have any kids. Then when the girls moved in with her, they the 2 eldest started getting abusive, coz we lived in a 4 bedroom house, & they lived in what can only be described as a squat. DH says she only did came back to mess up our relationship, coz she took kids away when he split from this other GF. What a mess.
So he's got a bit of baggage.

assumedname Mon 23-May-05 20:45:58

That's good news.

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