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Why is it so difficult?

(5 Posts)
lunavix Mon 18-Apr-05 20:21:59

I've always found it hard making friends, I have a best friend from Year 7 but sadly she moved abroad so we don't see each other a lot. Me and dp have a couple we consider 'best friends' plus he has a best friend (male too) but we don't really have any other friends, and none locally even though dp went to school here.

I always felt a bit of an outcast in school, and had to really struggle to get close to people. I think it may stem from my mother, who never had any friends with children my age (she had me late in life) and I didn't make friends until I went to primary school, and then she didn't encourage it.

I'm really worried this will rub off onto ds. There's nothing I want more than to have his friends round regularly (obviously not atm as he is only a year old!) but the people we meet at baby groups etc just aren't that interested as they already have their own friendship groups locally.

I'd love a close friend or two locally where we can pop round each others houses and the kids can play together, but it's just not happening. We're planning on moving again soon (hopefully to stay put finally) and it's terrifying me at the thought of having to fight to meet people for ds's sake.

Sorry, I think this is mostly rhetorical, I'm just feeling a little sorry for the three of us at the moment.

LucyJones Mon 18-Apr-05 20:23:30

Hi Lunavix. Sorry to hear you're feeling blue. Whereabouts do you live? Wouldn't it nice if us April mums could live near each other!

noddyholder Mon 18-Apr-05 20:25:12

I was in a very similar situation when ds was younger and I was on dialysis people avoided me I think I felt awful But I have gradually made a few friends and over time (he is 10) we get invited to more things and know more people but I don't think I'll ever have the circle of friends I had before ds and when I still lived in London Give it time and maybe invite some other mums for coffee quite casually

lunavix Mon 18-Apr-05 20:25:13

I know we are all so far apart! It's so sad I'm looking forward to this meetup so much (hopefully it will happen!)

I always say I wish I could drive so it would be better.. but then I think I'd just visit our friends that live a way away more and then locally we'd still know noone.

tangomum Tue 19-Apr-05 18:44:03

I think having chidren is a great way to meet people. Try some different baby groups. I joined a local NCT birthday group and we still meet, though our children are now 5 yrs. ofcourse there were people I never felt that close to but you all have a shared experience. At first I was very shy and didn't feel able to ask people to meet me at the swings or whatever. I think a great bond is if your child gets on with someone-elses and then it feels more natural to ask them round for a play date. It takes time but friendships will build. Don't give up!

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