aaargghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jampots]

I am in danger of throwing a saucepan of boiling water over my husband and have decided to come upstairs to cool off. He is bombarding me with such hurtful comments continually like "fat bloater, useful fucking lazy bitch, heifer, stupid fucking useless c*" etc etc.

I have posted about this before and I want no sympathy I just need to tell someone before I boil him alive!

[AnnieQ]

Nice man. Boiling him alive sounds like a reasonable idea to me.

[emmatmg]

He said WHAT???/


I'd throw the water over him the smack him with the bloody pan.


OMG, I can't believe it!

[bosscat]

cheeky bugger. turn the other cheek and don't waste your energy on him.

[happymerryberries]

You shouldn't have to put up with that. no-one should have to put up with that. What a horrible, hurrible thing to say. What a turd!

[Peckarollover]

what???? that is awful

[Socci]

Message withdrawn

[starshaker]

yeah boiling him sounds good

[prettyfly1]

holy christ - why are you tolerating that, dont even boil the twat just throw him out!!!!!!

[anorak]

I had an ex who used to talk to me like that and in time you get so downtrodden by it you just can't fight back.

My dh wouldn't dream of ever speaking to me like that. That's why I'm with him now and the other t**r is ancient history.

You have to tackle him about it - it's so damaging and hurtful - on a par with physical violence in how it makes you feel.

[bosscat]

I agree with anorak actually, turning the other cheek is all well and good but you can't be expected to put up with that long term, it will be so damaging. why does he call you these horrible names? does he apologise after or does he think its acceptable??

[AnnieQ]

This is abuse, and turning the other cheek suggests that you accept it. IMO he needs to know that it's not acceptable to you. What is your response to his comments?

[jampots]

oh its nothing new - he's just a spoiled wanker who thinks the world revolves around him. One day I told him I was going to count the number of times he called me derogatory names - I lost count by lunchtime . I do retaliate and ask him not to say those things but he just keeps on. He knows how sensitive I am about my weight which makes it worse - not that its not bad enough on its own. I think at the time I just try and let it ride over me by telling myself his comments dont matter but now Im sitting here crying about it and if he catches me crying it'll just egg him on

[AnnieQ]

Have you ever tried giving as good as you get and calling him a useless, stupid w*nker or something in return?

[jampots]

yes

[Surfermum]

Oh have a hug Jampots. No wonder you're so upset, that's horrible. Don't believe for one nano-second that you're any of the things he's calling you.

[jampots]

i am a bloater.

[jollymum]

That's bullying and bullies are usually insecure. Does all that bravado crap hide a spoilt little boy who knows he's nothing special and has to degrade you to get his kicks? What would happen if you really retaliated, hard, would he back down? Does he ever do this in front of others and god forbid, your children {if you have any}? You need to do something, whether you love him or not, because no-one should ever get away with that amount of playground name calling. He's obviously insecure and deeply unhappy about soemthing, because he's bullying you. BTW, I'm not sticking up for the tw*t, just wondering how you could change things for the better, for you. You are not wrong, he is.

[Twiglett]

treat him like a lobster and boil him

slam the door and go to the pub

he's a complete arse and doesn't deserve you

[WideWebWitch]

Good lord, how awful. This is abuse and bullying.

[bosscat]

Jampots, is he ever nice to you? does he say nice things normally and the horrible stuff is when he's stressed? not trying to excuse him in any way but trying to understand why you would stay with someone who says such horrid things to you?

[flamesparrow]

Boil and beat him with the pan!!!



No-one should think of themselves as a "bloater" ... you might be bigger than some people, but that is all (ooh, unless your that woman who needs to be carried round her house on pullies ), which you're not cos you can get upstairs

He is a W%$ker and deserves everything you can give him and more.

[jampots]

anything nice is usually backed up by something horrible eg. "I can tell you've lost weight....but you've still got a long way to go"

He always gets this bad before his mum and dad come over and they're due on Thursday for a month .

As I type, he is downstairs singing at the top of his voice "Jampots is a fucking bloater, she's a big fat pig" for absolutely no apparent reason and yes, the children are around

[bosscat]

Jampots NO !!!!!!!!!!!! You can't put up with this, no way. This is a very personal question and feel free to not tell me the answer, but can you still be in love with someone who says these things about you?

[flamesparrow]

I know I don't know you or your whole situation, but my heart is just screaming to you to get out of there.

Your children shouldn't hear you being spoken to you like that, and they will grow up thinking its ok to be like it with you and other women.

Huge huge hugs