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DH away but HE is not happy with MY babysitting arrangements

(43 Posts)
Pagan Thu 14-Apr-05 15:39:24

I'm a bit miffed at this. I have had only one night out with no kids in the 3 months since DS was born.

I've just signed up for a yoga every Thursday evening for 8 weeks, each class lastin 8.30-10.

As it happens my DH is away for a long fun filled weekend started on the Thursday my yoga class starts. I don't mind this but friends of ours have offered to babysit to allow me to go to the first class. Great I thought, but DH is now sayinh that he's not comfortable with this as (his words) "DS tends to cry a lot" and it's too far for them to travel for 2 hours babysitting (they live about 6 miles away)

This was my reply:

No disrespect but that's easy for you to say. You were quite prepared to ask MY sis in law if she would look after DS so that we could go to a party with no kids and that would have been for a longer period of time and she had only offered to look after DD. So why the change of heart?

I didn't go chasing anyone to babysit or drop hints so if someone offers then I think it's patronising to then go and say that we're not comfortable with it and to assume that it is too far. If it was too far then they wouldn't have offered.

I don't mind missing the first class if there was no-one around but when someone has actually offered I think it would look even more silly to say well DH wasn't happy about it, yeah he's the one away for the weekend and who spends a lot of time away with work. I on the other hand, was fine with it, yeah she's the one who has had only one evening away from the kids since DS was born and has been left alone to look after them quite a bit.

I'm just saying it as I believe others would view it. If you were in my position then you wouldn't be so judgmental about who could and could not look after kids to allow you your time.

How do I make him see that he's being unfair and making me feel like a total dogsbody whilst his free time is unaffected?

Twiglett Thu 14-Apr-05 15:41:11

tell him he's an arse and kick him in the goolies

Marina Thu 14-Apr-05 15:42:40

That's not a very relaxed and serene response Twiglett
But I'd recommend that course of action too Pagan. What a nerve!

motherinferior Thu 14-Apr-05 15:43:04

Yep, me too

Twiglett Thu 14-Apr-05 15:43:29

Sorry, didn't mean to be so abrupt

I should obviously have said

Tell him he's a gooly and kick him in the arse

Marina Thu 14-Apr-05 15:44:11

Maybe it's not too late to change to kick-boxing and start practising on him

RnB Thu 14-Apr-05 15:45:58

Message withdrawn

redsky Thu 14-Apr-05 15:48:16

i think he's being unreasonable - especially as they offered to babysit.

Pagan Thu 14-Apr-05 15:48:51

Ah fabulous - I might just show him this thread!!

Kayleigh Thu 14-Apr-05 15:50:20

How dare he
It was lovely of your friends to offer.
Enjoy your evening.

Pagan Thu 14-Apr-05 15:53:29

I think the issue is that the couple (yup two babysitters), the guy is his work colleage but we have become friends with him and his wife. So whilst it's OK for me to foist the kids on my family or friends, he doesn't want to do the same to his!

Grrr

Shall let you know what his response is.

tarantula Thu 14-Apr-05 15:54:09

If he aint happy tell him to cancel the weekend pure and simple. Its really that easy and if he doesnt like that then he shouldnt have booked the weekend without sorting out suitable babysitting for HIS kids.

Pagan Thu 14-Apr-05 15:55:10

LOL Tarantula!!! How wonderfully put!!

coppertop Thu 14-Apr-05 15:58:46

I agree with Tarantula.

He's being very selfish, expecting you to stay home while he goes off by himself.

wild Thu 14-Apr-05 15:59:37

yes if he's not happy let him do it!

Twiglett Thu 14-Apr-05 16:00:39

6 miles is nothing btw - it'll take what? 20 mins tops to drive it

I think he is being grossly unfair and a downright idiot to be honest

Beetroot Thu 14-Apr-05 16:01:10

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expatinscotland Thu 14-Apr-05 16:02:47

You can't. Leave you kids with the sitter and go and enjoy your class. Namaste.

Twiglett Thu 14-Apr-05 16:03:37

unless DH's work colleague has been complaining to DH at work and feels obliged to do the babysitting, in which case he might be clumsily trying to let you know that they don't really want to do it

I am obsessing now about your DH, I cannot believe any DH would take that attitude to his wife who has quite happily let him go away for a whole weekend when his youngest is so little

bundle Thu 14-Apr-05 16:05:03

if he's not happy with it, ask him to "babysit" in place of his fun-filled weekend. arse.

Pagan Thu 14-Apr-05 16:23:34

Twiglett if it adds fuel to the fire ....

I was only home from hospital 2 days when he went out to "wet the baby's head" leaving me feeling downright **ing furious

For his 40th I allowed him the pressie of going away on a skiing trip for 4 days - DS was only 4 weeks old.

God now I'm bloody annoyed - I can see a huge argument coming. I've been a bloody idiot! I'm too bloody nice, that's his problem!!

expatinscotland Thu 14-Apr-05 16:32:47

At the end of the day, though, pagan, he's away. You're there. He can't stop you from going to yoga, and once he sees how mood-lifting yoga is, he won't want to!

Go to your class - you'll love it! I was hooked after just one session.

Beetroot Thu 14-Apr-05 16:33:55

Message withdrawn

wild Thu 14-Apr-05 16:34:55

I suffer from too-nice syndrome too
Not any more though! grrrr
I'd book a fun-filled weekend of your own, trouble is I miss ds if I'm having 'fun' for too long

Pagan Thu 14-Apr-05 16:35:30

Not yet - he's at work just now so awaiting an email with baited breath. I also told him that if he was that bothered by it then he can discuss with his colleague - don't see why I should!!

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