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'messed around' with a married man

(9 Posts)
Anon79 Sun 15-Feb-09 22:49:12

I didn't know how to word this so I'm just going to say it best I can. Feel free to call me all the names under the sun. I deserve it. But I could also do with some advice.

The long and short of it is that last night, I ended up kissing and almost sleeping with a married man.

I know him fairly well. I also know his wife. She has always disliked me (She's always been polite but I could always tell it was strained). He offered to come around to look at our TV.

It ended with him pushing me onto my bed where we kissed and he tried to take it further. I stopped it.

I have to see him and his wife on an almost daily basis. I don't know what to do. Do I just 'forget' or what? it's not like I can act all natural now.

Confused and worried. Please help.

fryalot Sun 15-Feb-09 22:53:04

well, I presume you don't need anyone to tell you that this was wrong, it sounds like you already know this.

If the wife has fairly openly disliked you, perhaps she has been aware that her husband had some sort of feelings for you, or perhaps he has history of jumping on lone females.

He's obviously a bit of a twat.

Is there any way you can avoid them/him completely?

Coldtits Sun 15-Feb-09 22:53:50


Do you HAVE to see them? Can you not rejig your schedule so you see them less?

I personally would try to forget it completely. ANd make DAMN sure I never did anything like it again.... but don't blame yourself too hard, because he's the one who's married, not you.

lessonlearned Sun 15-Feb-09 22:56:33

Well done for nipping it in the bud! If he tries it on again let him know you will call him out on it! Tell him you will ask his DW if she wants you to wash his socks as well!

drlove8 Sun 15-Feb-09 23:00:57

ok you know he's married, you kissed him ,thats wrong BUT you did stop before things went further! he's at fault more than you, he's the one thats married. sounds like his wife knows what he's like , hence the hostility toward you.this you must remember- HE is A MAN-SLUT, stay well clear and avoid him like the plague. do not give him any attention at all, he's a cheating scumbag and his poor suffering wife does not deserve to be treated like that. dont let him use you, you are worth mch more than to be a slimebags bit on the side!sad

muffle Sun 15-Feb-09 23:01:19

Well, if your description is accurate you weren't that much to blame. He jumped you, you liked it, but you saw sense and stopped it. So stop feeling bad, and try to just put it in the past.

I'd probably invent a mild illness or unrelated stressful situation (eg you have work stress or whatever) to mask the fact that you'll be feeling a bit uncomfortable - so you can make quick exits/have an excuse for not saying much for a while.

If she ever confronts you, though, I wouldn't lie, I'd tell her the truth - he tried it on and you stopped it. I wouldn't lie because that would make you look bad if it ever did come out.

dittany Sun 15-Feb-09 23:01:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamas12 Sun 15-Feb-09 23:14:11

Did you want it to go any further and by this I mean a relationship? If not you know that you have to tell him that it was a mistake and not to do anything like that in future. It is a pain trying to distance yourself without drawing attention to yourself but hopefully he will take no for an answer and yes I agree with muffle to stick to the truth with the wife because there may be a history and it will bear out.
Good luck.
My story like that was a married man telling me that he had always loved me and if only my xh had let him know that we would be divorcing he wouldn't have married his wife and waited for me!! He has a child with her aswell. That was the first I heard of that kind of feeling from him. We had a (sort of)kiss the first I've had in years and a few texts but have tried to just be lukewarm and avoidance tactics. His wife btw is the kind of woman you don't want to cross.

MrsSchmaltzyMerryHenry Sun 15-Feb-09 23:17:08

Do you know what he wants from you? Is he after a relationship or is he just using you for a kiss and a fondle? You haven't said anything that indicates a relationship developing; it sounds more like the latter.

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