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Close friend's dh has accused her of having an affair with my dh!

(8 Posts)
Wills Mon 11-Apr-05 14:15:26

Its not true of course - in fact its laughable. To clarify the situation. Close friend's husband is very depressed and on antids. His mother is also very possessive and has never really forgiven close friend for taking her baby away. Anyway she's obviously been stirring and announced at do they had two weeks ago that she was obviously having an affair with my dh. When she sheepishly told me I burst out laughing. The problem is her dh can't let it go.

I make friends easily, but my dh really struggles. Its wonderful for me when I bring a new friend home if my dh then strikes up a friendship with that person and/or their partner as well but its really rare. This is one of the few that he has done just that. Given that they live only 2 minutes walk away its been wonderful with us all (including the kids) living in each other's houses).

I told dh about the accusation by telling him to be sorry for her dh and so far he's managed that. However although my friend is really chatty on the phone or via email all attempts to get them all round (as they would do normally since they live only 2 minutes down the road) have been shunned. I invited them over for lunch yesterday but they didn't appear - didn't even phone. DH and I are both starting to feel a little aggrieved. We really enjoyed our friendship and now it appears to be drifting. Any thoughts on what I could do to help save it?

Chandra Mon 11-Apr-05 14:31:32

Give them some time to sort their problems and his depresion, probably her DH would feel better in some time and even find that accusation ridiculous and embarrasing.

Wills Mon 11-Apr-05 14:45:01

Yes agreed to a point but I'm also worried that space will only allow embarrasment factors to grow bigger and therefore be impossible to handle.

Wills Mon 11-Apr-05 14:45:04

Yes agreed to a point but I'm also worried that space will only allow embarrasment factors to grow bigger and therefore be impossible to handle.

elsmommy Mon 11-Apr-05 15:01:54

Turn up at theirs and try and get everyone to talk about it

Wills Mon 11-Apr-05 15:15:04

Suggested that and she doesn't want to do that.

Bugsy2 Mon 11-Apr-05 16:18:21

They are clearly having alot of problems right now. I think you have to indicate that you are there for them but also take a big step back & give them space.

Marina Mon 11-Apr-05 16:23:57

Think Bugsy is right on this one. Even though there is clearly nothing in the mad MIL's rumour-mongering, they do seem to need some space on this and I suspect it is mostly down to the fact that her dh is suffering from depression. Presumably he is not able to be as rational about all this as the three of you, because of his illness. What a shame Wills, so sorry to hear this.

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