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something's changed - feeling sad

(3 Posts)
NotQuiteRight Mon 11-Apr-05 10:35:07

DH and i have always had what I would consider the perfect relationship, in every way. Recently though something has changed and I'm really stressing about it. We haven't been having sex as much (baby DS tends to get in the way IYSWIM) and after seeing a thread on MN about men and porn, I asked DH about it. HE has never shown any interest before, but he replied that he has been looking at it (in the internet) a lot recently as things have been a bit quiet on that front. I have never had a problem with porn before (and said as much on the other threads) but suddenly i feel really threatened. When we did have sex the other day, it was just 'different', and DH said some things which he never has done before and I just knew it was because of the things he had been looking at (I know for sure there isn't anyone else in RL). We also spend so much time doing other things nowadays. The only time we get to pursue other interests is when DS is asleep and we just sit in silence until we go to bed. We are both absolutely knackered and I'm desperately trying for it not to turn into a 'i'm more tired than you' competition, which is what I feel is happening. I really don't want us to end up resenting each other. I am feeling so sad. What will it take to get back on track? I am a regular poster but have changed my name for this as DH knows I use MN a lot.

Branster Mon 11-Apr-05 10:48:57

why are you sitting in silence before going to bed? are you playing chess or something?

The positive here is taht you are aware of a situation here: you two appear not to share much anymore.
I'm certainly not an expert and my personal life is not glorious by any means , but could you instigate some share activities for the evenings wher you can both join in and have fun? Reading a book to each other, doing a crossword, playing a game taht sort of silli stuff?
i hope someonelse on here would be better equipped to give you advice on this.

Since you seem prepare in doing something about it, you're halfway there!
Good luck!

HappyDaddy Mon 11-Apr-05 11:04:06

My dw and I have high sex drives but don't get the chance often, because of dd. We still make sure that we spend time together, just chatting. That kind of thing can make you feel so close even if the physical side is less often. Your dh needs to make sure he's not using porn INSTEAD of time with you.

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