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Help! Need Advice if I am doing the right Divorce thing Pleeeez

(2 Posts)
Hawaiiangal Mon 11-Apr-05 07:07:08

HI All, It all started when I met this guy on the internet who said he was a single parent. I too was a single parent but my children were from the pre teen age to adult. (2Boys) It caught my eye when this separated military guy said he is fighting for custody of his two children and two children that were from other men. Said CPS was in the process of taking children away. I fell for the kids and came to the rescue. The ex now was from a foriegn country who got pregnant for citizenship. To make a long story short the state awarded or him with full custody due to finding ex unfit. House was filthy, dead animals, she prostituted and gambled and the home that my man purchased was in September 1999. Ex ran off with another man in Jan 1st week of 2000. I met my now husband on the internet in April 2000. All was fine we were bonding until the mil begged to live with us. My mil destroyed our marriage when she came to live with us in 2003. This made the two children want to move back with there bio mom. One child was his bio child and the other was the step. I found out that my now husband is giving his ex money, letting his ex cry on his shoulder when she has problems with her boyfriend and forces my husband to see the step child. This step child knows I want to see the bio child and the step child is telling her not to come over. Instead they prefer to see my husband behind my back. All this secret hiding games is driving me mad. I now am dealing with a mil who says I hit her, which is why I sent her back to the states after going through this lie and now I dont have supportive in laws due to sending her back. My parents died, I dont have anyone to talk too. I told my husband give me a divorce and go back to your past life because I cannot deal with these lies. He keeps disagreeing with me because he knows we are capable of losing everything. I am an independant female and dont need to lie by telling the government I have more dependants then I actually have in order to keep a large check. I asked my husband to clean his name by provinding the military with the right info and no nothing. I told him I would repay the money back to the military and he still wont. I am so tired of this. He wont take me to a military counseler because he doesnt want me to tell the truth. He only has a few extra thousand dollars due to fraud showing he has custody of all children when in fact he does not. He was caught by these children in the house on his computer downloading porno and this is why they wanted out aside from the arguments their grandmother started. You ask why I allowed the mom to come on board, the sister (her own daughter) was threatening to kill her own mom. Now the daughter is threatening to kill me because I sent the mom back home. What a family. I threatened to call the cops is why my husband deleted all the porno. Please write I am open with all ears on anything or experience you can hand down to me. Thank you.

Bugsy2 Mon 11-Apr-05 09:47:14

Hi there, this is such a complicated situation it is hard to know where to start. Is there any chance you could go for a temporary separation just to get a bit of distance between yourself and the current situation and then address one issue at a time?

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