When you get together with someone, listen for terrible things he's done in the past. Know that if you're lucky, if the relationship lasts, he will do something at least that bad to you.
I do take into account circumstances, regrets, and any changes he's made to his life. But I find this rule is pretty reliable.
The guy who threw someone's possessions out a car window at speed, he was a bit of a dick with me. The guy who hit his girlfriend (and was deeply deeply ashamed of it) didn't hit me, but he did get v angry somewhat randomly. And so on.
I think maybe though it depends upon age. For example, when I was younger (teens and early twenties) I cheated on boyfriends. I would never, ever cheat now. Your theory probably holds true if you are talking about relationships that take place at similar life stages.
Sorry, but wannabe, your reaction did make me giggle
NQC, you may well be right though...luckily, I have never found any skeletons in DP's past, and he more than lives up to people's good accounts of him, so I guess I am on the fortunate side of your theory!
I'm not just talking about things they did in relationships, I'm talking about things they did ever.
You're right, people do change. But that's the thing, BIOTB, if you were talkinga bout the cheating, you would say (presumably?) that it was a stupid thing to do at the time, or a product of the stage you were at, and not ok, and you wouldn't do it again. So that's regrets, of a sort.
Cor, my DH did all sorts of terrible things in his past - things I would be too embarrassed to mention. I honestly believe he is a completely different person now and is a great husband and father. (Well he can be a right arse from time to time, but no-one's perfect )
Good point, Reality, obviously they can spin whatever they did into 'my ex was an evil bloodsucking bitch'. So I should add - however they talk about their exes, they will probably feel like that about you, at least sometimes.