Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

My "Worst Thing" theory

(30 Posts)
NotQuiteCockney Thu 12-Feb-09 09:36:19

When you get together with someone, listen for terrible things he's done in the past. Know that if you're lucky, if the relationship lasts, he will do something at least that bad to you.

I do take into account circumstances, regrets, and any changes he's made to his life. But I find this rule is pretty reliable.

The guy who threw someone's possessions out a car window at speed, he was a bit of a dick with me. The guy who hit his girlfriend (and was deeply deeply ashamed of it) didn't hit me, but he did get v angry somewhat randomly. And so on.

Does this rule work for others?

wannabe10 Thu 12-Feb-09 09:38:31

God thats cheery
Happy valentines day grin

BlameItOnTheBogey Thu 12-Feb-09 09:39:02

I think maybe though it depends upon age. For example, when I was younger (teens and early twenties) I cheated on boyfriends. I would never, ever cheat now. Your theory probably holds true if you are talking about relationships that take place at similar life stages.

BitOfFun Thu 12-Feb-09 09:41:55

Sorry, but wannabe, your reaction did make me giggle grin

NQC, you may well be right though...luckily, I have never found any skeletons in DP's past, and he more than lives up to people's good accounts of him, so I guess I am on the fortunate side of your theory!

NotQuiteCockney Thu 12-Feb-09 09:46:38

I'm not just talking about things they did in relationships, I'm talking about things they did ever.

You're right, people do change. But that's the thing, BIOTB, if you were talkinga bout the cheating, you would say (presumably?) that it was a stupid thing to do at the time, or a product of the stage you were at, and not ok, and you wouldn't do it again. So that's regrets, of a sort.

Kathyis6incheshigh Thu 12-Feb-09 09:48:17

Interesting, but doesn't that also mean, that the worst thing I ever did to a previous bf, I will do to dh? shock

NotQuiteCockney Thu 12-Feb-09 09:51:06

Possibly. It depends what you did to the previous bf, and how you feel about what you did. (And the circumstances of you doing it.)

RealityIsMyOnlyValentine Thu 12-Feb-09 09:52:27

Message withdrawn

PortofinosDHwillDieIfHeForgets Thu 12-Feb-09 09:53:33

Cor, my DH did all sorts of terrible things in his past - things I would be too embarrassed to mention. I honestly believe he is a completely different person now and is a great husband and father. (Well he can be a right arse from time to time, but no-one's perfect wink)

HolyGuacamole Thu 12-Feb-09 09:54:59

Applauds Reality.

Hear, hear.

PortofinosDHwillDieIfHeForgets Thu 12-Feb-09 09:56:08

PS domestic violence was NOT one of those things.

SlartyBartFast Thu 12-Feb-09 09:56:49

my dh was pretty much a womaniser. well so he says ... actually he did two time his gf with me blush
but he is older and wiser and quite frankly knackered, tis true.

NotQuiteCockney Thu 12-Feb-09 10:03:16

Good point, Reality, obviously they can spin whatever they did into 'my ex was an evil bloodsucking bitch'. So I should add - however they talk about their exes, they will probably feel like that about you, at least sometimes.

RealityIsMyOnlyValentine Thu 12-Feb-09 10:31:46

Message withdrawn

BitOfFun Thu 12-Feb-09 10:36:31

<links arms with Reality> You would make such a fab kick-ass big sister grin

RealityIsMyOnlyValentine Thu 12-Feb-09 10:39:13

Message withdrawn

fattiemumma Thu 12-Feb-09 10:41:08

yes it is indeed a very good rule.

Reality - we have got to meet!

RealityIsMyOnlyValentine Thu 12-Feb-09 10:43:30

Message withdrawn

HolyGuacamole Thu 12-Feb-09 10:44:46

Reality - you are big time smart!!!! Go girl!

grin

fattiemumma Thu 12-Feb-09 10:49:11

oh trust me, everyone has me pegged as some glamazon....you will see me and realise im just an oversized frumpy mum. and no where near as fabullous as my online persona

BitOfFun Thu 12-Feb-09 10:53:20

<jumps up and down in attention-seeking fashion> me too, me too!

RealityIsMyOnlyValentine Thu 12-Feb-09 10:55:30

Message withdrawn

RealityIsMyOnlyValentine Thu 12-Feb-09 10:56:08

Message withdrawn

BitOfFun Thu 12-Feb-09 10:57:16

Oh, I'm local to me! Where are are you guys?

RealityIsMyOnlyValentine Thu 12-Feb-09 10:59:24

Message withdrawn

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now