Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Am so angry with my parents today (again)

(110 Posts)
TheArmadillo Wed 11-Feb-09 21:15:39

sorry I know it's me whinging again but I am furious with my parents today.

Firstly ds was going over there because they like to have him one day a week to spend time with him. This is the only reason they seem to be in contact with me since I moved (I moved to remove myself from their control - only approx 5 miles but you'd think it was the other side of the world).

So they phone this morning to check still on and ask how my car is (it broke down a couple of weeks ago) and whether I have had it fixed. I say no cos I can't afford it and we are thinking of getting rid of it. I get told I am not allowed (wtf?) to sell it. And why do I keep doing this and I will only be asking them for money for a new car in a few months time (I have never asked them for money for a car, they bought this one for me as my last one broke and they went out and bought me one they would as in their opinion I couldn't be without one - I felt I had little say in the matter). I wasn't allowed to explain why I wanted to get rid of it just told I wouldn't be.

Then when my dad turned up to collect ds he told me they would ask around and see if it was a good idea and whether they would let me sell it. Problem is they insisted on keeping all the paperwork, so although I have a logbook I have none of the history paperwork which obv makes it more difficult to sell. And we genuinely can't afford to repair it adn we don't use it now we've moved so it seems pointless paying out for all the insurance etc.

Then they phoned later, and after telling me that they had bathed ds (because when was they last time I did it? - erm last night actually) that dad couldn't bring him home but my sister would.

2 hours later I phone to see why he isn't back and they say apparently despite her satnav she couldn't find my house, and drove round for 90mins before giving up and going home. She had her mobile but at no point phoned me to ask me to direct her. She was going to give him food (as he had been in car so long apparently) and then bring him back.

Then an hour or so later they phone to say they are not returning him tonight it will be tomorrow.

Am mightly suspicous of my sister's story. I don't think she is telling the full truth.
a) I know several people who have used the same make of sat nav to find our house with no problem
b) our house is easy to find anyways even if you don't know the area
c) why didn't she phone me and ask me directions from where she was? She said it was because she didn't have my landline number, but she had my mobile or she could have called my mum to get it off her.

On top of this dp was suspended from work (luckily on full pay) yesterday.

I worried I am being punished for moving. I am also worried about what will happen if they refuse to return ds tomorrow - though a friend has offered to go get him if they do. They claim I am an appalling mother (my parents, not friend) and I am worried they are planning something.

I want to scream.

ilove Wed 11-Feb-09 21:18:46

I'd be going and getting him tonight.

macdoodle Wed 11-Feb-09 21:19:40

They've kept your DS ??? Police NOW I would not be messing around sorry angry for you!!

unavailable Wed 11-Feb-09 21:21:29

Why do you think they may refuse to return him?

ilovetochat Wed 11-Feb-09 21:21:32

i'd get him via taxi if necessary, tell them to bring him back now.

offerdilemma Wed 11-Feb-09 21:22:23

I cant believe how laid back you appear to be over their still having ds! I would be fuming if my parents did this to me!
Can you get a friend to give you a lift to collect him NOW?

isheisnthe Wed 11-Feb-09 21:22:33

go and get him NOW - F-ing cheek - he is YOUR son, how bloody dare they - walk,get a bus, ask a mate - but get him back - I am livind on your behalf - and tell them to pick up the car and keep it on their drive - you don't want it evenif it is fixed - I would certainly also say do not expect that he will be coming next week after pulling a stunt like that!

ComeWhineWithMe Wed 11-Feb-09 21:22:43

I would be going and getting him now I am angry for you ,my mother is somewhat controlling of me and I am slowly learning to stop her .

Please don't let them walk all over you you will end up getting really stressed .

LuckySalem Wed 11-Feb-09 21:22:50

TA - Go get your son NOW!! My parents would never think to behave like this and if they dared I wouldn't deal with them again.

Get your son.

dittany Wed 11-Feb-09 21:23:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

charitygirl Wed 11-Feb-09 21:24:34

I think you should go and get him...but I see that can be difficult if you don't have a car.

Your parents are mad and out of order.

megcleary Wed 11-Feb-09 21:25:58

go an get him

LadyGlencoraPalliser Wed 11-Feb-09 21:26:58

Blimey O'Reilly - your post made me so angry on your behalf. How old is your DS? They sound like the controlling parents from hell tbh. Is there any way you can get over there first thing in the morning and get him back rather than leave it to them to decide when to return him?
If it were me I would be telling them they would not be having my child alone again.
WHY do they claim you are an appalling mother? Because you don't do what they tell you?

TheArmadillo Wed 11-Feb-09 21:27:30

I'm not going to get him tonight because at the moment he doesn't know there is anything wrong and if we can sort this out like that I will keep it that way. If he's not returned tomorrow I have several methods of getting him back adn I will get police if necessary.

I suspect that they are doing this to punish me adn won't keep him - they know I hate having him away overnight and that will be enough. It will prove their point. However cos I didn't predict this, I am not entirely certain what will happen tomorrow. No actual harm will come to him tonight so if we can avoid him being drawn into this then we will.

Either that or they want him cos they are planning to see my aunt which they know I won't allow (cos her dog attacked ds) in which case ds will tell me all tomorrow (cos he's 4 and does that) and they won't be seeing him again. Except in my house with me present.

If there is any trouble tomorrow they will also only be allowed to see him in my house with me present.

I hope I am worrying over nothing.

ComeWhineWithMe Wed 11-Feb-09 21:28:45

Where abouts are you I will take you to pick him up if you are near me .

PortofinosDHwillDieIfHeForgets Wed 11-Feb-09 21:29:43

Go get him and do not let him go back there unaccompanied by you or DP at any time! It took you a long time to make this break - and they are still controlling your life!!!! If I was nearby I would come and give you a lift. I feel livid on your behalf! angry

mixedmamameansbusiness Wed 11-Feb-09 21:29:58

definitely get him. how dare they.

dittany Wed 11-Feb-09 21:29:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yurtgirl Wed 11-Feb-09 21:31:17


shock appalling behaviour by your parents

I dont think 5 miles is far enough - given a chance in that situation I would move a 2+ hour drive away, that would give me sufficient space!

I hope things get sorted tommorrow. Dont stand for any rubbish, he is your son before he is their grandson.

LuckySalem Wed 11-Feb-09 21:31:25

TA - Your DS wont mind about all the hub-bub and if they're going to take your son to somewhere he got attacked before then IMO thats worse for him.

Go and get him!!

dittany Wed 11-Feb-09 21:31:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mixedmamameansbusiness Wed 11-Feb-09 21:33:32

what does dp say

TheArmadillo Wed 11-Feb-09 21:34:03

I think I am going to have to stop them having ds. I think I'm going to have to keep all visits supervised.

I'm at work tomorrow but dp is here all day and will keep me updated. My friend can't collect him tonight cos she is relying on lift from a family member of hers. Dp's parents would also go tomorrow if emergency or there is buses.

The thing is they know I wouldn't go and get ds tonight because it would be several hours on bus and they didn't tell me till his bedtime.

I am angry, but as he won't come to any harm tonight and I don't want him drawn into it at all. I have been very careful to keep all of this away from him.

ravenAK Wed 11-Feb-09 21:34:30

if you think he'll be less unsettled staying there tonight, fair enough. angry on your behalf.

But definitely ring them & tell them you will be collecting him at x o'clock tomorrow.

Any buggering about - police.

(& I very much doubt my dc would be returning there in the foreseeable!)

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 11-Feb-09 21:35:09

Message withdrawn

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: