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Going to be nicer to my decent dh!

(59 Posts)
Fragolina Mon 02-Feb-09 10:30:25

I got up this morning and after 20 mins of pottering around the house, I realised that almost every thought I had was some kind of criticism of my DH (he cooked dinner, but didn't do the dishes, put a cork on the half finished bottle of wine, but left all the glasses on the coffee table), and all I kept focussing on was what he hadn't done, rather than what he did do.

He is a lovely man, and this week, I'm going to consciously remind myself that I chose to spend my life with him because he's great....and I am not going to turn into a grumbling gorgon.

Anyone else want to join me in 'be nice to DH week?'

PerArduaAdNauseum Mon 02-Feb-09 10:34:45

Oh I really should. Yes he left the kitchen in a tip but he did cook last night. And he took DS to school because my back's fucked and I'm terrified of slipping in the snow and making it worse. And he looks terribly sexy in black jeans grin. OK, sign me up!

Othersideofthechannel Mon 02-Feb-09 10:50:05

What DID he do Fragolina?

onlywantsone Mon 02-Feb-09 11:04:53

I'm being nice to DP too - because he left for work at 9pm last night (he commutes weekly to London)... he didnt get to the flat til 1am and was in the office at 8am this morning after walking for an hour in the snow because the buses aren't running...

so I said - oh you poor thing, you should have stayed at homr and skivved with me and DD - he replied, that he couldnt and WOULDNT do that, because he desperately wants for us to buy a house that we can choose together in the summer... with a garden big enough for our babies to play in smile he's lovely

Fragolina Mon 02-Feb-09 11:31:19

Otherside - He DID make a very nice dinner last night and cooked my steak just how I like it, and served it to me on a tray in front of the telly because I have a cold, and ytook away the dirty plates. He made me a hot toddy afterwards for my throat. He also took all the washing out of the dryer, without being asked and put it upstairs. Got DD mostly dressed and gave her milk this morning and dropped her off at the CM. Phoned me as soon as he got to work to see how I'm feeling. Said he might bring me lunch, depending on his workload (so is thinking of me!). Awww, feel all mushy now that I'm dwelling on the positives

TheProvincialLady Mon 02-Feb-09 11:31:37

I am just the same Fragolinasad My DH is a lovely man but I am such a nag at times. He is an untidy so and so and it drives me crazy. But he does a lot of other things and he works hard. I will put in more effort this week.

LadyThompson Mon 02-Feb-09 11:36:44

Ooh, this is a good thread. I am just the same. It's so easy to focus on the small percentage of things which aren't right, isn't it? I need to do this with my life, let alone my DP!

plj Mon 02-Feb-09 11:44:22

(hangs head in shame as been HORRIBLE to DP all week )

DP had to drive to Aberdeen at the crack of dawn this morn to catch his fligh to rig. He works away as he wants me to give up work to be with our DT's. He wants to buy us a bigger house with a garden too.

Ok, so he isn't much help with the endless list of household chores, but he works bloody hard when he's away, and is great with our DT's.

sobloodystupid Mon 02-Feb-09 11:44:42

Me me me!. My lovely dh built a huge fire last night, made me delicious scrambled eggs and toast, dropped dd at CMs this morning and rang to see how I was (am due tomorrow!) I am sooo lucky... grin

BalloonSlayer Mon 02-Feb-09 12:58:17

Awww you have made me decide not to give DH a bollocking for not shutting the freezer door properly again.

(As I attacked the ice with a screwdriver I imagined threatening to take said implement to his testicles)

He did (as he does every morning) the elder DCs packed lunches and brought me tea in bed while I fed DS2.

He's laaaarvly.

sayithowitis Mon 02-Feb-09 15:27:33

Does it count that I got a lovely lie-in and a gorgeous wake up shag cos both our places of work are shut due to the snow? if so, I'm definitely in!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 02-Feb-09 15:39:13

TPL - I have the same problem with untidiness, and at times it makes me lose all perspective of the lovely things that my DH does for me and for us as a family. He's working at home today so his untidiness is everywhere and I've been really grotty to him.
These are the nice things he has done since yesterday.
Breakfast in bed having got up with DS and let me lie in until 11am.
Made lunch
Made dinner
Did laundry
Made me lovely scrumptious hot chocolate

He is wonderful and I'm very lucky - although he is an untidy sod grin

bella29 Mon 02-Feb-09 16:00:05

Ooh - can I join in please? I just realised last week that, although he is terribly untidy and cannot find anything (even when it is staring him straight in the face), he lets me away with everything I do wrong and never ever says 'I told you so', even when it would be totally justifed.

He now has a bad case of man flu and is the world's worst patient, but I am going to be much nicer to him wink

TheProvincialLady Mon 02-Feb-09 16:16:11

Alibaba I think I would cope better if DH recognised that he is messy - but he thinks he is tidy and organisedhmm He honestly does not see mess, unless it is more than ankle deep. On the plus side, he doesn't see my mess either so at least he isn't one of those dreadful husbands who walks through the door at 6pm and says what have you been doing all day, this place is a pigsty etc. There are a lot of women on MN with partners like that.

izyboy Mon 02-Feb-09 16:29:29

Yeah my DH is fabulous too, much like Alibaba's, but like Ali's he too is an untidy sod.

newpup Mon 02-Feb-09 16:56:03

Can I join in? (waves at Bella )

My DH is lovely too. He has an incredibly demanding job and works long hours. He does this to give me and the DD's a lovely lifestyle. We have a fab house, amazing holidays and the DD's are spoilt rotten.

He bought me a new car for christmas to put the puppy in that he bought us in the Summer ( he never wanted a dog either) He is always treating me to things and taking me to nice places. He lets me get whatever I want for the DDs and is happy for me not to work, even though I probably should now the DDs are 9 & 7.

He is always kind and loving and I totally adore him.

Rereading this I realise how totally spoilt I am blush

Numberfour Mon 02-Feb-09 17:01:26

hmm my DH could learn a thing or two from this thread.

BUT: I want to join in! I find I like him more (always LOVE him, but don't always like him) when I am kinder and nicer to him!

So what has he done for me this weekend: Went to Natural History Museum yesterday even though he really did not want to, bbq'ed Sat night in the cold!, made a snowman with DS this morning, and said if my children come tomorrow (I am a CM) he would drive them to school seeing that I have NO experience of driving in snow having grown up in South Africa.

Fragolina Mon 02-Feb-09 17:50:45

Numberfour, I totally agree! Somehow when I am kinder and nicer to DH it just multiplies itself and we're both in a great mood. He came home from work today at lunchtime as a surprise, to make me lunch! It was a very nice sandwich, and very sweet, as I was really feeling ill and probably wouldn't have gotten up the energy to make something.

Its so nice to hear about the lovely things dp/dhs have done - I've had a warm mellow feeling all day (or maybe that's all the toddies I've had to kill my cold off!)

TheProvincialLady Mon 02-Feb-09 18:02:04

I have been nice to DH since he came home, so that is one hour nowgrin

He spent quite a while looking for a bar of chocolate I lost this morning and as he couldn't find it, has just gone out to buy me another. Now that, ladies, is love!

bella29 Mon 02-Feb-09 18:25:41

<waves to newpup>

Feels horribly smug to acknowledge how nice dh is, especially as there are so many awful tales of horrid blokes in this section sad

newpup Mon 02-Feb-09 18:50:21

bella. Now you made me feel bad!!! blush

bella29 Mon 02-Feb-09 18:55:30

Sorry, newpup - didn't mean to! I guess it's just like so many other things in life - when you stop & look around you, you realise how lucky you are wink

Oh God, now I am going to have to be nice to dh too. I am always so mean to him and he is always so good to me. You have all shamed me.

He is away until Friday so I can work on it til then. grin

TheGoddessBlossom Mon 02-Feb-09 19:20:53

I am guilty of being quite dismissive of DH - pretend to listen when he tells me in detail of WHERE EXACTLY he ran on his run, how long EXACTLY it took, etc, and barely mask how dull I find it all, as I read Closer magazine. I moan at him for working all weekend leaving me to do all the childcare. I take him completely for granted and never even CONSIDER the fact that he would not think he was lucky to have me.

He does ALL the cooking (self taught bloody master chef)/gardening (would like nothing more than his own walled herb garden FFS!)/pays the mortgage himself even though I earn more than enough after childcare to pay for half; he can't keep his hands off me, which although I find mostly annoying, should recognise it for the compliment it is; he is a battler, a fighter, and the most determined man I have ever met (self employed builder consistently in work because he is such a perfectionist, not a qualification to his name, has lost a stone since New Years Day because he decided he should, was teetotal all January for the same reason). He knows how to apologise, which is more than I do; he loses his temper with the boys just like I do but is man enough to feel bad about it and do his utmost to make amends.

All in all he is a one off, and very special and I don't nearly appreciate him enough, or realise how lucky I am. smile

TheGoddessBlossom Mon 02-Feb-09 19:25:11

blimey, re-reading that I bet you are all lining up to be my best friend! grin

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