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texting an ex you have not seen in 16 years

(15 Posts)
joesy Wed 06-Apr-05 09:59:38

Dh is going about calling me all the sluts and whores because i had been texting an ex from Jan. It was just a friendship and to get advice. He thinks I have been having an affair and says I have commited adultery. I am at my whits end he has phoned all my family and run me down to the lowest. We had made up but he has started again. I do not know what to do we have 2 Ds. He says he will fight as dirty as he can to get custody of them if it goes that far. I have suffered verbal and emotional abuse from him for years. Is this the end?

JanH Wed 06-Apr-05 10:01:32

Do you want to stay with him, joesy? I can't think why!

joesy Wed 06-Apr-05 10:04:04

I feel we are togerther for the sake of the kids. I have been sleeping my Ds room for the past year or so. Occassionally I will go into our room.

Twiglett Wed 06-Apr-05 10:05:47

Don't think that has anything to do with your texts, sounds like an excuse to continue abusing you if you ask me?

Do you want this to be the end? (you should, but do you?)

joesy Wed 06-Apr-05 10:05:59

I am just scared of what he might do if we fall out/ He is always making threats. HE SAYS YOU TREAT HIM BAD HE WILL TREAT YOU 10 TIMES WORSE. It would kill me if he got custody of our two kids.

joesy Wed 06-Apr-05 10:07:11

have been on to womans aid this morning. debating whether to phone a solicitor or not. I know he will not leave the house.

JanH Wed 06-Apr-05 10:07:38

Well it sounds from what you have posted that the kids would be much better off living apart from him. What's your legal position with your house? Is it rented/owned/joint names?

"Fighting dirty" won't get him anywhere and solicitors are expensive.

JanH Wed 06-Apr-05 10:08:52

Highly unlikely that he would get custody. Does your family support him or you when he runs you down to them?

joesy Wed 06-Apr-05 10:10:01

our house is owned in joint names but he always talks about it is his house. I have not been working for the past two years. I have been off with PND.

joesy Wed 06-Apr-05 10:11:53

Everyone I know thinks I should have left him years ago. My cpn although she can not diagnose him thinks he has a personality disorder but we will never know as he could never ger mediacally assessed.

joesy Wed 06-Apr-05 10:13:14

He is wanting me to contact orange to get details of texts made. My ex has explained to him nothing has gone on.

JanH Wed 06-Apr-05 10:13:26

What did women's aid say? Have you tried CAB? I'm sure you are entitled to tell him to leave if he is abusing you - it isn't his house - don't let him force you out.

You definitely need legal advice but it needs to be cheap/free.

joesy Wed 06-Apr-05 10:15:39

No I must give them a ring. Womans aid just offered me courses and somewhere to stay.

toughondads Wed 06-Apr-05 17:26:45

How many Texts and what was in them.
Your DH must me curious and be feeling betrayed.
How would you feel if it was him texting an old flame.
If you have nothing to hide, contact the phone company and this should satisfy his curiousity.

joesy Wed 06-Apr-05 18:28:23

I have just wote a letter to the phone company

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