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How do I make her see????

(4 Posts)
trinityrocks Wed 06-Apr-05 09:09:46

One of my friends has recently got to know another couple that has children of a similar age to hers at the same school. The kids play togather and the parents have visited a few times on their own and it is definitely the begginnning of a friendship. However on the last evening they were there, they confided that they were on Methadone and that the husband was still taking smack but she wasn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now my friend actually believes that the wife isn't also still jacking up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And she doesn't seem that concerned about the situation anyway
In my opinion she should at least watch herself with these people. When I was at college I knew a few Smackheads and I am not sure that they can be trusted, I don't mean that they are all mean and evil people, I just think that the severity of their addiction takes over and they can't help themselves from lying and cheating IYKWIM!
My friend doesn't have much money and she always likes to help people so I know that she won't turn her back on these people but I don't think that she is totally clear about the possible threat they could be to her and her family.
Any advice on her to gently help her to realise without making it sound like I think she is stupid IYKWIM!!

misdee Wed 06-Apr-05 09:15:47

tbh, if the couple have been honest about what they are addicted to, and are seeking treatment then why should it concern you. your friend is a grown up.

Flossam Wed 06-Apr-05 09:22:31

You can't tell her how to live her life. It is hers to make her own mistakes. I do understand how you feel about the desperation of addiction - addicts do develop such determination to improve their situation and get off the drugs, but then the need for the drug overtakes them. However I am keen not to tar all addicts with the same brush, and I admire your friend for doing the same. It sounds like she wishes to give them the benefit of the doubt and IMO this should make you even fonder of your friend for her kind and unjudgemental nature. I hate to upset you but you do sound a little jealous perhaps - are you feeling neglected as your friend is spending time with these people?

trinityrocks Wed 06-Apr-05 10:42:39

You have not upset me flossam, I can see that it may look like.
I suppose I should have said more about the fact that my friend is a self confessed complete naive person who really doesn't understand the possible problems concerning serious addiction. She even asked me what Heroin was!
I know what you mean about being kind and understanding and not tarring with the same brush and thats good but if you go into a situation not fully understanding then thats not quite the same.
Anyway, thanks for your honest opinions, it means alot
Hope everyone is well

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